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If you have worn a three-year-old white cap, you can replace it with the hemp of great merit; only the walking stick and shoes cannot be changed. When there is a death of parents, the merit is reduced, and when you are with your brother, you can wear a white cap. When you are with your brother, you are called Yang Tong Mou Fu, without a name, and it is a god. When you live separately, when you first hear about your brother's death, you can only cry in response. When you first wear hemp, you can wear a mourning belt. If you go to the funeral without wearing hemp, and the host has not yet worn mourning, you should wear it with the host if you are distant, and wear it with the host if you are close. , and the number of days of wearing the hemp belt and mourning clothes. When the master's concubine dies, the son shall be in charge of everything from mourning clothes to the linen auspicious ceremony. The funeral and sacrifice shall not be held in the main wife. The master shall not care for the servant concubine. When the queen dies, the concubine shall wear the party clothes of the queen. If the queen takes over, the concubine shall not wear the party clothes of the previous queen.
Before Meng Chang arrived, his home was in Jingkou. I once saw Wang Gong riding in a high carriage, wearing a crane fur cloak. It was snowing lightly at the time, and Chang peeked at him from between the fences and exclaimed, "This is truly an immortal!"
Zeng Zi asked: "Can the funeral of a major merit be included in the offering of sacrifices?" Confucius said: "It is not a major merit! "Zengzi asked, "Is it not possible to make sacrifices with light clothes?" Confucius said, "That is not what I mean. In the funerals of the Son of Heaven and the dukes, those who are in mourning clothes offer sacrifices; the high officials, those who are in mourning clothes offer sacrifices; the scholars, their friends offer sacrifices; if it is not enough, they take from those who are of great merit or less; if it is not enough, they take from those who are of great merit or less." Zengzi asked, "Can small merits be included in the sacrifices?" Confucius said, "Why must it be small merits? Those who are in mourning clothes and below offer sacrifices; that is etiquette." Zengzi asked, "Is it not possible to make sacrifices with light clothes?" Confucius said, "In the funerals of the Son of Heaven and the dukes, those who are not in mourning clothes do not offer sacrifices; the high officials, those who are in mourning clothes offer sacrifices; the scholars, if the sacrifice is not enough, they take from those who are of great merit or less." Zengzi asked, "Can acquaintances, if they are in mourning clothes, participate in the sacrifices?" Confucius said, "If you don't offer sacrifices, how can you help others?" Zengzi asked, "Can you take away your mourning clothes and participate in the sacrifices?" 鈥滳onfucius said: "Saying mourning and offering sacrifices are not rites; it is OK to reject each other."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When a son serves his parents: if he advises them three times but they still don鈥檛 listen, he should cry and follow them. When the king is ill and takes medicine, the minister should taste it first. When a parent is ill and takes medicine, the son should taste it first.
銆 says: "Filial sons are not lacking." Confucius said: "To be harmonious with the party of parents can be called filial. Therefore, the gentleman uses harmony to unite the clan." The Book of Songs says: "This makes brothers more than enough; not to be so, brothers will be more friendly."
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