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Zi SiWhen his mother died in Wei, Liu Ruo said to Zisi: "You are the descendant of a sage. People from all over the world come to you to observe the rites. You should be careful." Zisi said: "Why should I be careful? I heard that if there is the rite but not the money, a gentleman will not do it; if there is the rite and the money but not the time, a gentleman will not do it. Why should I be careful!"
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
Zigong asked Confucius, "May I ask why gentlemen value jade and despise enamel? Is it because jade is scarce and enamel is plentiful?" Confucius said, "It is not because enamel is plentiful that they despise it, but because jade is scarce that they value it. In the past, gentlemen compared virtues to jade: warm and moist, it is benevolence; meticulous and fine, it is knowledge; incorruptible but not sharp, it is righteousness; hanging like a string, it is courtesy; knocking, the sound is clear and long, and it bends at the end, it is music; flaws do not cover the beauty, and beauty does not cover the flaws, it is loyalty; trustworthiness is everywhere, it is trustworthiness; aura is like a white rainbow, it is heaven; spirit is seen in mountains and rivers, it is earth; jade is outstanding, it is virtue. What is valued by all in the world is the Tao. The Book of Songs says, 'When I think of a gentleman, he is as warm as jade.' Therefore, gentlemen value it."
Sima Huan was ill. Xie Gong went to visit his sick father and entered through the east gate. Duke Huan looked at him from a distance and sighed, "It has been a long time since I have seen such a man among my followers!"
Kong Cheqi was traveling with Zhongcheng. They met Kuang Shu on the imperial road. He was accompanied by many guests, so Kong went over to talk with Cheqi. Zhong Cheng didn't look at it at first, and said directly: "Even if an eagle turns into a dove, other birds still hate its eyes." Shu was furious and wanted to kill him. The cavalryman got off the car, hugged Shu and said, "My cousin has gone mad, please forgive him for me!" Only then did he save the leader.
When the king and the official are about to bury the deceased, they should offer condolences in the palace; when they leave, they should order the officials to lead the mourners, but they should stop after three steps. After three times, the king will leave; they should do the same in the morning and at the funeral. Those who are fifty years old and do not have carriages should not cross the border to offer condolences.
Confucians cleanse themselves and bathe in virtue, they keep their words to themselves, they are calm and correct, and their superiors do not know; they are rough and arrogant, and they do not rush to do things; they do not think they are high when they are deep, and they do not think they are much when they add a little; they do not despise the world in peace, and they do not get discouraged when the world is in chaos; they do not agree with the same, and they do not criticize the different. They are like this in their uniqueness.
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