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The way of the gentleman is expensive and hidden. The foolishness of a husband and wife can be understood, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not know it. The unworthy husband and wife can do something, but when it reaches the extreme, even a sage will not be able to do it. The universe is so big, but people still have something to regret. Therefore, when a gentleman speaks big, no one in the world can contain it; when he speaks small, no one in the world can break it. The Book of Songs says, "The kite flies to the sky, and the fish leaps in the deep." It means that he is observant of everything. The way of a gentleman starts with husband and wife, and when it reaches the extreme, he observes the universe.
Wang Ziyou served as a military officer under Huan's chariot and cavalry. Huan said to the king, "You have been in the government for a long time. You should take care of things for me." He did not answer at first, but looked up, supported his cheek with his hand and said, "The west mountain has a refreshing breeze this morning."
When mourning clothes are not yet complete, if there are condolences, then the person will cry, bow and dance for the position. When a senior official mourns for a senior official, he should wear a veil and mourning clothes; when a senior official participates in a funeral, he should also wear a veil and mourning clothes. If a senior official has a private funeral, then he should wear a veil and mourning clothes for his brother's minor funeral.
Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
Then why is it three years? Answer: The closest relatives are separated by a period. Why is that? Answer: The heaven and earth have changed, the four seasons have changed, and everything in the heaven and earth has been renewed, so it is a symbol. Then why is it three years? Answer: It is to add more, so why double it, so it is a double period. Why is it from September to below? Answer: Why not make it less than that. Therefore, three years is a period of mourning, a small mourning is a period of mourning, and a period of nine months is a period of mourning. Take the image from the sky above, the law from the earth below, and the example from people in the middle, and the principle of human beings living together and in harmony is complete. Therefore, the three-year mourning is the most elegant of human nature, and this is called the most solemn. This is the same for all kings, and the same for ancient and modern times, but no one knows where it comes from. Confucius said: "After three years of life, one can escape from the embrace of parents; the three-year mourning is the most common mourning in the world."
When He Cidao was the prime minister, some people criticized him for not trusting the right people. Ruan Sikuang said with deep emotion: "The next path would not have led to this. But it is hateful that a commoner could rise to the position of prime minister! That is all."
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