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Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
When Du Qiao's mother died, there was no one in the palace, thinking it was a traitor. Confucius said, "When she died, she wore lamb fur and black hat, just change it." The Confucius did not mourn for lamb fur and black hat.
Wang Changshi said to Jiang Daoqun: "People can have what they should have, but they don't have to have it; people can have what they should not have, but I must not have it."
It is better to not be in decline than to be inappropriate. One should not sit at the side in mourning, and one should not serve in service for great achievements.
It is said in the past: When Prime Minister Wang crossed the Yangtze River, he only taught three principles: to have no sorrow or joy in voice, to keep in good health, and to express one's thoughts fully. However, the winding path of life is everywhere.
Xuanwu moved his town to Nanzhou and made the streets straight. Someone said to Wang Dongting: "When the Prime Minister first built Jiankang, he had no successor, and his arrangements were tortuous. This is inferior." Dongting said: "This is why the Prime Minister is clever. The land of Jiangzuo is small, not as good as that of China. If the roads were smooth, we could see everything at a glance. Therefore, the arrangements are tortuous and seem unpredictable."
After asking the mother of Yinman's father, he was buried together in Fang. When a neighbor dies, the pounding of rice does not meet; when a village dies, people do not sing in the alley. The mourner's cap is not tied.
The kind and gentle are the root of benevolence; the cautious and respectful are the place of benevolence; the generous are the work of benevolence; the generous are the ability of benevolence; the polite are the appearance of benevolence Talking is the expression of benevolence; singing is the harmony of benevolence; dispersing is the application of benevolence; Confucians have all of these, but they still dare not say benevolence. Their respect and humility are like this.
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