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The Master said: "The moderation is the highest! Few people can keep it for long!"
Bo Gao died in Wei and went to Confucius. Confucius said: "Why should I cry? For my brothers, I cry in the temple; for my father's friends, I cry outside the temple gate; for my teacher, I cry in the bedroom; for my friends, I cry outside the bedroom door; for my acquaintances, I cry in the wild. In the wild, it is already distant; in the bedroom, it is already important. Since You Ci came to see me, I cried to Ci's family." Then he ordered Zigong to be the host and said: "If you come to cry for you, bow to him; if you know that Bo Gao came, don't bow."
When Wei Jie came to Xiadu from Yuzhang, people had heard of his name for a long time, and the crowds of people who came to see him were like a wall. Jie had a weak constitution before and his body could not bear the fatigue, so he fell ill and died. People at that time said, "Wei Jie was watched to death."
Huan Xuanwu once invited his assistants to stay overnight. Yuan Hong and Fu Tao arrived one after another and stayed in the government office. There was also assistant general Yuan. Yanbo was suspicious and ordered him to preach and question him. The missionary said: "The military commander is Yuan Shikai, Yuan Shikai, what else is there to doubt?"
Jia Gonglu's second wife, Guo, was extremely jealous. She gave birth to a boy named Limin, who gave birth to Zaizhou. When Chong returned from outside, his wet nurse was holding the child in the courtyard. The child jumped for joy when he saw Chong, and Chong went into the wet nurse's arms and cried. Guo saw this from a distance and thought Chong loved his wet nurse, so he killed her. The child cried out of sorrow and refused to drink the other's milk, and thus died. Queen Guo never had any children.
It is better to not be in decline than to be inappropriate. One should not sit at the side in mourning, and one should not serve in service for great achievements.
The mourning period of two periods is three years; the mourning period of two years is two years. The mourning period of the ninth and seventh months is three periods; the mourning period of the fifth month is two periods; the mourning period of the third month is one period. Therefore, offering sacrifices at a certain time is a ritual; and ending mourning at a certain time is the way. Offering sacrifices is not the ending of mourning. Those who are buried three years later must offer sacrifices again, and the mourning period is not the same as the time between offering sacrifices. The great merit is the mourning of the master, and if it is three years, then sacrifices must be offered twice. For friends, only the yu and bu are required. If a scholar or concubine has a son, she shall be mourned for him, but if she has no son, then it is not required. If the grandparents, fathers, brothers and sisters are not born, the father shall be taxed for mourning, but the person shall not be taxed. If the parents, wife and eldest son of the monarch are mourned, the monarch shall not be taxed after the mourning is ended. For close ministers, the monarch shall wear this kind of clothes; the rest shall follow the mourning and not follow the tax. Although the monarch does not know about the mourning, the ministers have already worn it.
Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
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