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. When parents grow old, they should not change their ways and should not be late. When parents are sick and look pale, this is the filial son's indifference. When a father dies and one cannot read his books, the traces of his hand remain; when a mother dies and one cannot drink from the cup, the traces of her mouth remain.
Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
The gentleman said: "Gently accept harmony, and accept white; loyal and faithful people can learn etiquette. If there is no loyal and faithful person, etiquette will not be in vain. Therefore, it is precious to get the right person. Confucius said: "Reciting three hundred poems in the Book of Songs is not enough for one offering. The ceremony of one offering is not enough for a great feast. The ceremony of a great feast is not enough for a great group. The great group is ready, but it is not enough for the feast of the emperor." Don't discuss etiquette lightly! Zilu was the chief of Ji's family. Ji's family offered sacrifices at dusk, and when the day was not enough, they continued with candles. Even if there is a strong face and a solemn and respectful heart, they are all tired. The officials limped and leaned to attend the sacrifice, which was a great disrespect. On other days when offering sacrifices, Zilu would be present. The affairs of the inner room would be handled at the door, and the affairs of the hall would be handled at the steps. They would start their activities at dawn and leave at dusk. Confucius heard this and said, "Who says that You doesn't know etiquette?
Ruan Guanglu went to the mountain tomb and arrived at the capital. He did not go to Yin, Liu and Xu, but returned after doing his business. Everyone chased after him, but Ruan knew that the current would catch up with him, so he ran away quickly, and when he reached Fangshan, he could not catch up with them. Liu Yin was the governor of Kuaiji at that time, so he sighed and said, "I will stay at Anshi Island when I enter. I dare not go near Sikuang again, as he can grab a stick and beat me. It is not easy."
Sacrifice is a great thing, and it is a preparation for everything. Is it the root of education to follow the preparation? Therefore, the teaching of a gentleman is to teach people to respect their rulers and elders externally and to be filial to their parents internally. Therefore, when a wise ruler is above, all ministers obey; when the ancestral temples and the altar of the country are respected, the descendants are obedient and filial. Do your best and be upright in your righteousness, and the teaching will come into being. Therefore, when a gentleman serves his ruler, he must practice it himself. What he does not like in his superiors, he will not use his subordinates; what he hates in his subordinates, he will not serve his superiors; if he does not do it to others, he will do it to himself, which is not the way of teaching. Therefore, the teaching of a gentleman must start from its root and follow the ultimate, and sacrifice is it? Therefore, it is said: sacrifice is the root of education. There are ten relationships in sacrifice: the way to serve ghosts and gods, the righteousness between the ruler and the minister, the relationship between father and son, the distinction between the noble and the humble, the killing of relatives and strangers, the bestowal of titles and rewards, the difference between husband and wife, the balance of political affairs, the order of the old and the young, and the relationship between superiors and subordinates. These are the ten relationships.
When Wei Jie first crossed the Yangtze River, he met General Wang. Because he was sitting at night, the general ordered Xie Youyu. When Jie saw Xie, he was so pleased that he no longer paid any attention to the king, and they talked in silence until dawn. The king was not able to enjoy the night. Jie was always weak and was always forbidden by his mother. That evening, he suddenly became seriously ill and never got up again.
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