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Confucius said, "Rituals are what the people in the streets indulge in. They make the differences between the people and make them have no suspicion. They serve as rules for the people." Therefore, men and women do not have intercourse without a matchmaker, and do not meet without money, fearing that there will be no difference between men and women. With this, the people in the streets still offer themselves. The Book of Songs says, "How can you cut wood? Without an axe, you cannot do it; how can you marry? Without a matchmaker, you cannot get it; how can you plant hemp? You follow her across the field; how can you marry a wife? You must tell her parents." Confucius said, "Do not marry a wife with the same surname, so as to distinguish them." Therefore, if you do not know the surname of a concubine when buying one, you should consult a fortune teller. Because of this people, the Spring and Autumn Annals of Lu still removed the surname of the lady and called her Wu, and her death was called Mengzi's death. Confucius said: "In the ritual, men and women do not exchange titles except for sacrifices." Because of this people, Yang Hou still killed Mu Hou and stole his wife. Therefore, the ritual of the lady was abolished at the grand feast. Confucius said: "If you don't see the son of a widow, you will not be friends with her. The gentleman keeps a distance from her." Therefore, when making friends, if the host is not at home, you will not enter her house unless there is a major reason. Because of this people, the people still value beauty more than virtue. Confucius said: "Love virtue is like love beauty." The princes did not go below the temptation of beauty. Therefore, the gentleman kept a distance from beauty as a rule for the people. Therefore, men and women do not touch each other. When you touch a woman, you should offer your left hand. If the daughter of a aunt, sister or daughter returns after marriage, men should not sit at the same table with her. A widow should not cry at night. If a woman is sick, you should not ask about her illness. Because of this people, the people are still licentious and chaotic in the clan. Confucius said: "At a wedding, the groom personally welcomes the bride and greets the uncle and aunt. The uncle and aunt pass the bride to the groom, fearing that the matter will go wrong." Because of this, some women still do not attend.

The ceremony of shooting at the betrothal is the greatest ceremony. It is performed when the weather is bright, and the ceremony is completed when the day is almost up. It cannot be performed without a strong person. Therefore, a strong person will perform the rites. When the wine is clear, people will not dare to drink when they are thirsty; when the meat is dry, people will not dare to eat when they are hungry; when the day is not over, people will be solemn and upright, and will not dare to be lazy. To complete the rites, to correct the ruler and his subjects, to be close to fathers and sons, and to reconcile the old and the young. This is difficult for ordinary people, but gentlemen perform it, so it is called having rites; having rites is called having righteousness, and having righteousness is called courage. Therefore, what is valuable in courage is that it can establish righteousness; what is valuable in establishing righteousness is that it has rites; what is valuable in having rites is that it performs rites. Therefore, what is valuable in courage is that it dares to perform rites and righteousness. Therefore, a brave and strong person, when there is no trouble in the world, uses it in propriety and righteousness; when there is trouble in the world, uses it in victory. If used in victory, there will be no enemy; if used in propriety and righteousness, there will be order and harmony; no enemy outside, and order and harmony inside, this is called great virtue. Therefore, the sage king values bravery and strength in this way. If bravery and strength are not used in propriety and righteousness to win, but used in fighting, it is called chaos. When punishment is carried out in the country, those who are punished are chaos. In this way, the people will be governed and the country will be safe.

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