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Confucius said, "Rituals are what the people in the streets indulge in. They make the differences between the people and make them have no suspicion. They serve as rules for the people." Therefore, men and women do not have intercourse without a matchmaker, and do not meet without money, fearing that there will be no difference between men and women. With this, the people in the streets still offer themselves. The Book of Songs says, "How can you cut wood? Without an axe, you cannot do it; how can you marry? Without a matchmaker, you cannot get it; how can you plant hemp? You follow her across the field; how can you marry a wife? You must tell her parents." Confucius said, "Do not marry a wife with the same surname, so as to distinguish them." Therefore, if you do not know the surname of a concubine when buying one, you should consult a fortune teller. Because of this people, the Spring and Autumn Annals of Lu still removed the surname of the lady and called her Wu, and her death was called Mengzi's death. Confucius said: "In the ritual, men and women do not exchange titles except for sacrifices." Because of this people, Yang Hou still killed Mu Hou and stole his wife. Therefore, the ritual of the lady was abolished at the grand feast. Confucius said: "If you don't see the son of a widow, you will not be friends with her. The gentleman keeps a distance from her." Therefore, when making friends, if the host is not at home, you will not enter her house unless there is a major reason. Because of this people, the people still value beauty more than virtue. Confucius said: "Love virtue is like love beauty." The princes did not go below the temptation of beauty. Therefore, the gentleman kept a distance from beauty as a rule for the people. Therefore, men and women do not touch each other. When you touch a woman, you should offer your left hand. If the daughter of a aunt, sister or daughter returns after marriage, men should not sit at the same table with her. A widow should not cry at night. If a woman is sick, you should not ask about her illness. Because of this people, the people are still licentious and chaotic in the clan. Confucius said: "At a wedding, the groom personally welcomes the bride and greets the uncle and aunt. The uncle and aunt pass the bride to the groom, fearing that the matter will go wrong." Because of this, some women still do not attend.

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All the Ruan brothers were good at drinking. When Zhongrong and his clan members gathered together for a while, they no longer used ordinary cups to drink, but used large jars to hold wine, and they sat around and drank together. Sometimes a group of pigs came to drink, and they would go straight up and drink together.

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Duke Xian of Jin died, Duke Mu of Qin sent people to offer condolences to Prince Chong'er, and said, "I have heard that the loss of a country is always here, and the recovery of a country is always here. Although my son is in mourning, the mourning cannot be too long, and the time cannot be lost. You should plan it." He told his uncle Fan, who said, "You should refuse it. A bereaved person has no treasure, but a loving relative is a treasure. What is the point of the father's death? And you think it is profitable, but who in the world can persuade you? You should refuse it." Prince Chong'er said to the guests, "You are kind enough to offer condolences to the deceased minister Chong'er. I lost my father myself, but I cannot cry with you and grieve for you. What is the point of the father's death? If someone dares to have other intentions, it will insult your righteousness." He bowed his head without kneeling, and stood up after crying, but did not hesitate. Zi Xian told Duke Mu of Qin about his death. Duke Mu said, "The benevolent Prince Chong'er! If you bow your head but don't kowtow, you are not yet the heir, so you can't kowtow; if you cry and then get up, you love your father; if you get up without selfishness, you are looking for benefits."

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Ziyou asked, “Is it a courtesy to mourn a loving mother as if she were your own mother?” Confucius said, “It is not a courtesy. In ancient times, men had tutors outside and loving mothers inside, and they were appointed by the king to teach their children. Why should they wear mourning clothes? In the past, Duke Zhao of Lu lost his mother when he was young. He had a loving mother who was good. When her mother died, the duke could not bear to mourn her. He wanted to mourn her. The officials reported it to the king, who said, “According to the ancient etiquette, loving mothers should not be mourned. Now you are mourning for her. This is against the ancient etiquette and disrupts the laws of the country. If you carry it out, the officials will write it down and leave it to future generations. Isn’t it wrong!” The duke said, “In ancient times, the emperor wore a silk hat when he was at home. 'The Duke could not bear it, so he wore a white hat to mourn his beloved mother. The practice of mourning a beloved mother began with Duke Zhao of Lu. Zengzi asked, "When the princes meet the emperor, they cannot complete the ceremony when entering the door. How many of them are abolished?" Confucius said, "Four." Please ask. He said, "The great temple is on fire, the sun is eclipsed, the queen's funeral, and the rain soaks the clothes and makes them lose their appearance, then it is abolished. If all the princes are present and the sun is eclipsed, they will follow the emperor to put out the sun, and each will give his own weapons in his own color. If the great temple is on fire, they will follow the emperor to put out the fire, and will not give his own weapons in his own color." Zengzi asked, "When the princes meet, they bow and yield to each other when entering the door, and cannot complete the ceremony. How many of them are abolished?" Confucius said, "Six." Please ask. He said, "When the emperor dies, the great temple is on fire, the sun is eclipsed, the queen's funeral, and the rain soaks the clothes and makes them lose their appearance, then it is abolished." Zengzi asked, "When the emperor has offered sacrifices to the five sacrifices in the suburbs and the altars, the food and utensils have been laid out, and when the emperor dies, what should be done with the queen's funeral?" Confucius said, "Abolished. Zengzi asked, "When the sacrifice is to be made and the sun is eclipsed, and the Taimiao is on fire, what should be done with the sacrifice?" Confucius said, "Just follow the sacrifice. If the animal arrives but has not been killed, it is cancelled. When the emperor dies but has not been buried, the five sacrifices cannot be performed; after the funeral, the sacrifice is performed, the corpse is brought in, the three meals are not served, and the wine is not vinegared. From the opening to the return of the mourning, the five sacrifices cannot be performed; after the burial, the sacrifice is performed, the prayers are finished and the offerings are made." Zengzi asked, "When the princes offer sacrifices to the gods and grain, the sacrificial vessels and dishes are already laid out. What should they do when they hear of the death of the emperor, the mourning of the queen, the death of the king, or the mourning of the lady?" Confucius said, "Abolish it. From the death to the funeral, from the opening to the return of the mourning, they serve the emperor." Zengzi asked, "When the ministers offer sacrifices, the tripods and sacrificial vessels are laid out, and the dishes are set out, but the rituals cannot be completed. How many of them are cancelled?" Confucius said, "Nine. "Please ask. He said: "The death of the emperor, the mourning of the queen, the death of the monarch, the mourning of the lady, the fire of the monarch's grand temple, the solar eclipse, the three-year mourning, the mourning of Qisui and the great merit are all abolished. The mourning of the outside world from Qisui onwards is carried out. The sacrifice of Qisui is that the corpse is brought in, three meals are not served, and the wine is not made with vinegar. The great merit is just a vinegar. The small merit and mourning are just things in the room. The reason why scholars are different is that they do not offer sacrifices in mourning, and they offer sacrifices to the dead without wearing mourning clothes. "

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