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Zu Guanglu was orphaned and poor when he was young. He was very filial and often cooked for his mother. Wang Pingbei heard of his good name and gave him two maids as a reward, and then appointed him as a Zhonglang. Someone teased him, saying, "The price of a slave is twice that of a maid." Zu said, "Why should Baili Xi be less valuable than the skins of five goats?"
When a funeral is made for one's monarch, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died"; for parents, wife, and eldest son, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died". When a monarch makes a funeral for the monarch of another country, one says: "My monarch is unlucky, and I dare to inform the steward."; for his wife, one says: "My youngest son, I will be buried with you."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, 鈥淒id your ancestors mourn their mothers?鈥 He said, 鈥淵es鈥. 鈥淲hy did you not let Bai mourn?鈥 Zisi said, 鈥淢y ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai鈥檚 mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai鈥檚 mother.鈥 Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
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