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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When the Grand Tutor, Prince Donghai, was stationed in Xuchang, he appointed Wang Anqi as the secretary and military officer, and they had a good relationship and respected each other. He ordered the Crown Prince Pi, saying, "The benefits of learning are shallow, while the comfort of the body is profound. It is better to observe the etiquette and manners carefully than to practice them casually. It is better to receive the emperor's will in person than to savor his words. General Wang is the model of human relations, you should learn from him!" Someone said, "General Wang, Zhao and Deng are the models of human relations, you should learn from them!" He was referring to Anqi, Deng Bodao and Zhao Mu. Yuan Hong wrote the Biography of Famous Scholars and mentioned Wang Canjun. Some say that the Zhao family still has this copy.
Emperor Ming asked Zhou Boren: "How do you think you compare to Xi Jian?" Zhou said: "Jian is a good minister, if he has the ability." He asked Xi again. Xi said: "Zhou Xi is comparable to me, and has the style of a great scholar."
Wang Youjun asked Xu Xuandu: "How do you compare to Anshi?" Xu did not answer, so Wang said: "Anshi was a great prime minister, so should Awan split his eyes to compete with him?"
In mourning, one should not eat for three days; in mourning of the same age, one should not eat for two days; in mourning of the great merit, one should not eat for three days; in mourning of the minor merit, one should not eat for two days; in mourning of the scholar, one should not eat for one day. Therefore, in the funeral of parents, after the funeral, one should eat porridge, and in the morning, one should spill one rice, and no one should spill one rice; in mourning of the same age, one should eat simple food and drink water, and not eat vegetables and fruits; in mourning of the great merit, one should not eat soy sauce; in mourning of the minor merit, one should not drink sweet wine. This is the expression of grief in food and drink.
Someone asked Mr. Lin: "How is Sizhou compared to the two Xies?" Mr. Lin said: "So it should be compared to Antiwan."
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