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Zilu left Lu and asked Yan Yuan: "What gift do you have for me?" He said: "I have heard that when you leave your country, you should cry at the tomb before leaving; when you return to your country, you should not cry, but open the tomb and enter." He asked Zilu: "What do you do for me?" Zilu said: "I have heard that you should be polite when passing by a tomb, and be submissive when passing by a sacrifice."
Prime Minister Wang said: "Diao Xuanliang is as clear as a razor, Dai Ruosi is as rugged as a rock, and Bian Wangzhi is as sharp as a peak."
When Du Qiao's mother died, there was no one in the palace, thinking it was a traitor. Confucius said, "When she died, she wore lamb fur and black hat, just change it." The Confucius did not mourn for lamb fur and black hat.
The great officials of various countries, when entering the emperor's country, call themselves the so-and-so scholar; they call themselves the accompanying minister so-and-so. They call themselves the son outside, and the old man of the widowed monarch in their own country. The envoy calls himself so-and-so. The emperor does not speak out, and the princes do not give names.
He Sikong went to Luoyang to respond to the order and became the attendant of the crown prince. Passing through Wuchang Gate, playing the piano on the boat. Zhang Jiying had never met him before, but he heard the clear sound of the strings at Jinchang Pavilion, so he got off the boat to congratulate him and they started talking. Then they got to know each other very well. He asked He, "Where are you going?" He said, "I'm going to Luoyang to respond to orders. It's the right way to go." Zhang said, "I also have things to do in Beijing." Since there was a carriage on the way, he set out with He. He did not tell his family at first, but only found out after his family asked him about it.
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
Li Pingyang, a son of Qinzhou, was a famous scholar in China. At that time, he was compared to Wang Yifu. Sun Xiuchu wanted to establish his authority, but Xian said, "Le Ling is popular among the people and should not be killed. Those who reduce Li Zhong do not deserve to be killed either." So he forced Zhong to commit suicide. At first, Chong was at home, and someone walked in through the door and took out a piece of paper from his bun to show Chong. He was aroused when he saw her again, so he went inside to show her to his daughter, who exclaimed "wonderful". When you understand his intention, you can commit suicide when you leave. This woman is very wise, and I always consult her.
It is better to not be in decline than to be inappropriate. One should not sit at the side in mourning, and one should not serve in service for great achievements.
Offering sacrifices and offering wine are respectful etiquette. Eating lungs is a ritual. Spitting wine is a ritual. At the end of the feast, it means that this is the main part of the feast, not just for eating and drinking, but for performing rituals. This is why rituals are valued and money is despised. After the cup is finished, it is placed on the west steps, which means that the feast is not just for eating and drinking. This is the meaning of putting rituals first and money second. If rituals are put first and money second, people will be respectful and yield without fighting.
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