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When Xi Jiabin died, his wife's brothers wanted to bring their sister back, but she refused to come. He said: "Even if I cannot live in the same room with Xi Lang, I would rather not be buried in the same grave with him after death!"
Offering sacrifices and offering wine are respectful etiquette. Eating lungs is a ritual. Spitting wine is a ritual. At the end of the feast, it means that this is the main part of the feast, not just for eating and drinking, but for performing rituals. This is why rituals are valued and money is despised. After the cup is finished, it is placed on the west steps, which means that the feast is not just for eating and drinking. This is the meaning of putting rituals first and money second. If rituals are put first and money second, people will be respectful and yield without fighting.
When Liu Lingyan first entered Luoyang, he saw many famous scholars and sighed, "Wang Yifu is too wise, I respect Le Yanfu, but I don't understand Zhang Maoxian, Zhou Hongwu is good at using his shortcomings, and Du Fangshu is clumsy at using his length."
When Wang Zijing was seriously ill, the Taoist priest wrote a memorial to confess his faults and asked Zijing, "What are the similarities and differences, gains and losses?" Zijing said, "I don't think of anything else, but I remember divorcing the Xi family."
Someone asked the scholar, "What's your old surname? " He answered, "Wu Fujun is the mature and wise king of the Ming Dynasty. Zhu Yongchang is the most virtuous man in managing things and has a high reputation in the selection of officials. Yan Zhongbi is the crane singing in Jiugao and the white colt in the empty valley. Gu Yanxian is the zither with eight tones and the dragon with five colors. Zhang Weibao is the lush pine in the cold winter and the ethereal light in the dark night. Lu Shiheng and Shilong are the swans that circle and the drums that are waiting for the hammer. All these gentlemen: use the big pen as a hoe and paper as a fertile field. Use mystery as crops and morality as a good harvest. Use conversation as brilliance and loyalty as treasures. Write articles as brocade and contain the Five Classics as silk. Silent sitting is like a seat and Zhang Yirang is like a curtain. Practice benevolence and righteousness as a house and cultivate morality as a large house."
The king comforts the officials and the women in the palace; the officials comfort the elders in the house and the younger nephews. The king and the officials honor their parents, wives, and eldest sons, but not their concubines; the scholars honor their parents, wives, eldest sons, and concubines. If a concubine has a son, the parents do not honor his corpse. In all cases of honoring corpses, the parents are honored first, and the wife and children are honored later. The king honors his ministers, the parents hold their sons, the son honors his parents, the wife serves her uncles and aunts, the uncles and aunts honor their wives, the wife holds her husband, and the husband holds his wife and his brothers. Honoring corpses is not the place for the king. In all cases of honoring corpses, one must jump.
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