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The son of a good blacksmith must learn to make fur coats; the son of a good archer must learn to make winnowing baskets; the beginner must do the opposite, with the chariot in front of the horse. A gentleman who observes these three things can be determined to study.
Then the bald people do not strip, the hunchbacks do not bare, and the lame people do not jump, not because they are not sad; if the body is sick, it is not suitable for the ritual. Therefore, it is said: the funeral ceremony is mainly about mourning. Women cry and mourn, beat their chests and feel sad; men cry and mourn, bow their heads and touch the ground, which is the extreme of sorrow.
When Gu Changkang painted people, he might not be able to paint their eyes well for several years. People asked why? Gu said: "The beauty of the body is irrelevant; the essence of the portrayal lies in the details."
Xu Yun's wife was the daughter of Ruan Weiwei. She was as virtuous as her sister but extremely ugly. After the formalities were exchanged, Yun refused to continue his talk, and his family members were deeply worried. When a guest arrived in Huiyun, the wife asked her maid to check him out, and she replied, "It's Huan Lang." Huan Lang is Huan Fan. The woman said, "Don't worry, Huan will persuade you to come in." Huan indeed said to Xu, "Since the Ruan family married their ugly daughter to you, they must be interested in you. You should observe it." Xu then went back inside. As soon as he saw the woman, he wanted to leave. The woman realized that after he left, there was no way he would come back, so she grabbed his skirt and stopped him. "Xu Yin said, "A woman has four virtues. How many of them do you have? "The woman said, "The only thing a new bride lacks is your appearance. However, a scholar has a hundred virtues, how many do you have? "Xu Yun: "All are ready." "The woman said: "Virtue is the most important of all virtues. You like lust but not virtue. How can you say you have everything?" "Yun felt ashamed and began to respect him.
The so-called peace in the world is to govern the country, when the ruler respects the elders, the people will be filial, when the ruler respects the elders, the people will be younger brothers, when the ruler cares for the orphans, the people will not betray him, so the gentleman has the way of the square. What you hate in the superior, do not use it to command the inferior, what you hate in the inferior, do not use it to serve the superior; what you hate in the front, do not use it before and after; what you hate in the back, do not use it to follow the front; what you hate in the right, do not use it to associate with the left; what you hate in the left, do not use it to associate with the right; this is called the way of the square. The Book of Songs says: "The happy gentleman is the parent of the people." What the people like, he likes, and what the people hate, he hates. This is called the parent of the people. The Book of Songs says: "The southern mountain is rocky. The great teacher Yin, the people look up to you." Those who have a country must be cautious, otherwise they will be humiliated by the world. The Book of Songs says: "Before the Yin lost its teacher, it could match the God. Yi Jian was in Yin, and the strict mandate was not changed. "If you win the support of the people, you will win the country; if you lose the support of the people, you will lose the country.
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
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