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When the emperor died, the first mourning ceremony was held for three days, the officials mourned for five days, the men and women in the country mourned for seven days, and the whole country mourned for three months. The people of Yu brought a hundred woods for sacrifices, and those who could make coffins were cut down; those who did not bring them were abolished and killed.
Someone asked: "Why do those who don't wear a cap wear it?" The answer is: It is what those who don't wear a cap wear. The Book of Rites says: "A boy does not wear mourning clothes, but only wears mourning clothes in the house." "Wearing clothes" means to be exempted, and in the house, he is exempted and caned.
Yan Ding was good at mourning: when he died, he was anxious as if he wanted to find it but couldn't get it; when he was buried, he looked around as if he wanted to follow but couldn't reach it; after the burial, he sighed as if he couldn't reach it and stopped.
When Liu Yu and his brothers were young, they were hated by Wang Kai, who once summoned them to stay overnight, intending to get rid of them silently. He ordered them to bury him in a mortar, and after that he would be harmed. Shi Chong was on good terms with Yu and Kun. When he heard that they were staying with Kai, he knew that something might happen, so he went to Kai at night to ask where the two Lius were. Kai had no choice but to hide the truth, and answered, "I am sleeping in the back room." Shi then went straight in, led him out, and left in the same carriage. As the saying goes: "Young man, why do you so easily accept someone's accommodation?"
Cao Gong asked Pei Qian, "You used to be in Jingzhou with Liu Bei. What do you think of Liu Bei's talents?" Qian said, "If he were to live in Central China, he could cause chaos but not bring order." If you can take advantage of the border and guard the dangerous places, you can become the master of one side. ”
When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
Yanling Jizi went to Qi, and on his way back, his eldest son died and was buried between Yingbo. Confucius said, "Yanling Jizi is a person in Wu who is accustomed to etiquette." He went to see his burial. The pit was not deep enough to reach the spring, and he was buried in the seasonal clothes. After the burial, the seal was sealed, and the pit was covered with wide wheels, so that it was high enough to hide. After the enthronement, he exposed his left arm and returned his right arm to the enthronement and cried three times, saying: "Bone flesh and blood return to the earth, it is destiny. As for the soul and spirit, everything will return, everything will return." Then he left. Confucius said: "Yanling Jizi's understanding of etiquette is in accordance with it!"
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