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Guide to Raising a Child Son-in-Law

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During Bo Gao's funeral, the envoys of the Kong family had not arrived yet, and Ran Zi took the silk bundle and rode a horse to lead them. Confucius said: "Strange! It makes me disloyal to Bo Gao."

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Wang Shuang was drinking with Sima Taifu. The Grand Tutor was drunk and called the king "boy." The king said, "My late grandfather, the Chief Secretary, was a friend of Emperor Jianwen. My late aunt and sister were married and had two concubines. How can they be called boys?"

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, Gao Shu was good at historical records and lived in seclusion in Yangqi. At that time, Fu Jian was on the river bank. Huan Chong, the governor of Jingzhou, was about to make full use of Fu Jian's talents, so he summoned him to be his chief secretary and sent people and ships to welcome him, offering him generous gifts. Upon hearing the order, Lu boarded the boat immediately. He refused all the supplies and begged for food along the way. By the time he reached Shangming, all his supplies were gone. When he saw Chong, he thought his troops were useless and retreated. I have lived in Yangqi for many years, and have always shared food and clothing with the villagers. When one is in need, the villagers will do the same. He was very generous and was well-respected by his fellow villagers.

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Honglu Qing Kong Qun loved drinking. Prime Minister Wang said, "Why do you ask about drinking? Haven't you seen wine shops cover their wine jars with cloth, which have been rotten for years?" Qun said, "If it weren't for that, I wouldn't have seen rotten meat, which would have made it last longer." Qun once wrote to his relatives and friends, "This year I got 700 hu of sorghum from my fields, but I didn't have time to make glutinous rice."

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Zengzi asked, "When the eldest son of the clan is a scholar and the son of a concubine is a senior official, how should they perform the sacrifice?" Confucius said, "The above animals are offered at the home of the eldest son of the clan. The prayer is: 'The filial son so-and-so will recommend the Jie son so-and-so for his usual duties.' If the eldest son of the clan is guilty and lives in another country, and the son of a concubine is a senior official, the prayer is: 'The filial son so-and-so will ask the Jie son so-and-so to perform his usual duties.' The host does not tire of offering sacrifices, does not travel, does not borrow, does not appease the sacrifice, and does not match. He lays out offerings to the guests, and the guests offer but do not raise them, and do not return the meat. He says to the guests, 'My elder brother, younger brother, and eldest son of the clan are in another country, so I am leaving.'" Zengzi asked, "When the eldest son of the clan is away in another country, can the son of a concubine live without a title offer sacrifices?" Confucius said, "Yes!" Please ask, "How should they offer sacrifices?" Confucius said, "Build an altar in front of the tomb and offer sacrifices at the right time. If the eldest son of the clan dies, inform the tomb and then offer sacrifices at home. When the eldest son of the clan dies, he is called by name without mentioning filial piety, and his body is gone. Ziyou and his followers, who have concubines' sons, offer sacrifices in this way, as if it is righteousness. Today's sacrificers do not put their righteousness first, so they accuse the sacrifice. Zengzi asked: "Is there a corpse in the sacrifice? Is it also okay to offer sacrifices with abstentions?" Confucius said: "When offering sacrifices to the deceased, there must be a corpse, and the corpse must be a grandson. If the grandson is young, let someone hold it. If there is no grandson, it is okay to take someone of the same surname. Offering sacrifices to the deceased must be with abstentions, which means it is not successful. Offering sacrifices to the deceased but without a corpse is a sacrifice of the deceased." Confucius said: "There are Yin abstentions and Yang abstentions." Zengzi asked: "The deceased is not offered sacrifices with abstentions, what is Yin abstentions and Yang abstentions?" Confucius said: "The eldest son dies because of the deceased, and the concubine's son does not become his successor. The auspicious sacrifices are special sacrifices. When offering sacrifices to the deceased, there is no offering of sacrifices, no shavings, no dark wine, and no announcement of the benefits. This is called Yin abstentions. In case of death and death, and those who have no descendants, sacrifices are offered at the home of the eldest son of the clan, with the white of the room in the east room as the sacrifice. This is called Yangyan.