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When the king and the official are about to bury the deceased, they should offer condolences in the palace; when they leave, they should order the officials to lead the mourners, but they should stop after three steps. After three times, the king will leave; they should do the same in the morning and at the funeral. Those who are fifty years old and do not have carriages should not cross the border to offer condolences.
When the dukes met before the appointed time, it was called "yu", and when they met in the land, it was called "hui". When the dukes sent officials to ask the dukes, it was called "pin", when they made promises, it was called "shi", and when they attended the sacrifice, it was called "meng".
Yang Fu’s younger brother married Wang Yongyan’s daughter. When Wang's family met their son-in-law, Fu sent his brother along. Shi Yongyan's father Dongyang Shang
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
Lu Aigong asked Confucius, "Master, are your clothes Confucian clothes?" Confucius replied, "When I was young, I lived in Lu and wore a Fengye robe. When I grew up, I lived in Song and wore a Zhangfu hat. I have heard that a gentleman's learning is extensive, and his clothes are rustic; I don't know Confucian clothes."
The great officials of various countries, when entering the emperor's country, call themselves the so-and-so scholar; they call themselves the accompanying minister so-and-so. They call themselves the son outside, and the old man of the widowed monarch in their own country. The envoy calls himself so-and-so. The emperor does not speak out, and the princes do not give names.
Emperor Ming of Wei asked his younger brother Mao Zeng to sit with Xiahou Xuan, and people at that time said it was "reeds leaning against jade trees."
The king sends a scholar to welcome the guests at the end of the night, and the ministers go to the temple for labor. The king personally greets them at the gate and receives them in the temple, facing north to bow and give gifts, and bow to the humiliation of the king's order, so as to show respect. Respect and humility are the way gentlemen meet each other. Therefore, the princes meet each other with respect and humility, so they will not invade and bully each other.
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