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When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
Yu Yuanke went to see Sun Jian. On duty, he saw Qi Zhuang outside. He was still young, but had a spirit. Yu asked him, "Where is Sun Anguo?" He answered, "He is at Yu Zhigong's house." Yu laughed and said, "Sun Anguo is so successful that he has a son like this!" He answered again, "He is not as careful as Yu Anguo." When he returned, he said to others, "I won because of this, so I can call my father's name again."
Confucius cried for Zilu in the courtyard. There were people who came to pay their respects, and the Master bowed to them. After crying, he brought in the messenger and asked why. The messenger said: "It has been minced." Then he ordered to mince it.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Yu Xiao once went out on an expedition to the west and has not returned yet. The woman's mother, Ruan, was Liu Wan'an's wife. She and her daughter went up to the city tower of Anling. Soon Yi returned, riding a fine horse and accompanied by a magnificent carriage. Ruan said to his daughter, "I heard that Yu Lang can ride, how could I meet him?" The woman told Yi, and Yi then opened the procession and rode his horse in the road. After two turns, he fell off his horse to the ground, but he looked calm.
Huan Xuan once climbed up to the southern tower of Jiangling City and said, "I want to write a eulogy for Wang Xiaobo now." He chanted and whistled for a long time, and then began to write. I took a moment to sit and write this eulogy.
Men and women do not know each other without a matchmaker; they do not interact or get close to each other without money. Therefore, the sun and the moon are used to inform the king, and all warnings are used to inform the ghosts and gods. Wine and food are prepared to invite neighbors and colleagues to show their respect.
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