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When Ruan Guanglu was in Shan, he had a good car and he lent it to everyone who asked for it. Someone wanted to borrow money to bury his mother but did not dare to ask. When Queen Ruan heard this, she sighed and said, "I have a carriage but people are afraid to lend it to me. What's the use of the carriage?" Then she burned it.
When the emperor mourns for the princes, he wears a crown, a sash, and a black robe; some say: let the officials mourn for him, and do not use music or food. When the emperor mourns, the coffin is covered with a dragon carriage, and an axe is added to the coffin, and the house is covered with paint. This is the emperor's etiquette.
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
For a minor mourning, if the mourning is over, then the mourning is exempted. If the mourning is not reported after the funeral, then even the host will wear a cap, but if the mourning is not reported, then all will be exempted. For brothers, after the funeral, the mourning clothes are removed. When the mourning is over, the mourning clothes are removed. If the mourning is not reported, then the mourning clothes are removed. Those who are buried far away and those who cry in return all wear a cap, and they are exempted from crying in return after the funeral. When the king mourns, even if it is not the right time to do so, the master must be exempted and not scattered hemp. Even the king of a foreign country is exempted. All relatives are exempted. For those who have just died, the sacrifice must be dark. For those who have just completed the mourning period, the sacrifice must be in the morning dress and white cap.
After Duke Huan abolished Haixi and established Jianwen, the attendant Xie Gong met Duke Huan and paid homage to him. Huan was surprised and laughed, "Anshi, what brings you here?" Xie replied, "I have never seen a king bow before me and a minister stand behind me!"
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
Then the bald people do not strip, the hunchbacks do not bare, and the lame people do not jump, not because they are not sad; if the body is sick, it is not suitable for the ritual. Therefore, it is said: the funeral ceremony is mainly about mourning. Women cry and mourn, beat their chests and feel sad; men cry and mourn, bow their heads and touch the ground, which is the extreme of sorrow.
The so-called self-cultivation is to rectify one's heart. If one is angry, one cannot be rectified; if one is afraid, one cannot be rectified; if one is happy, one cannot be rectified; if one is worried, one cannot be rectified. If one's heart is not there, one will not see, hear, or taste. This is called self-cultivation is to rectify one's heart.
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