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A gentleman is usually reserved. A gentleman is ashamed to prepare funeral supplies. A gentleman will not do anything that can be prepared in one or two days. In mourning clothes, the sons of brothers are treated as sons, and they should be welcomed and brought forward; the sisters-in-law and uncles have no mourning clothes, and they should be pushed away; the sisters-in-law and sisters are thin, and some people accept me and treat them well. Eating beside a mourning person, I have never been full.
Wang Zhongzu, Xie Renzu and Liu Zhenchang all went to Danyang Tomb to visit Yin Yangzhou, and they had firm determination. After returning, Wang and Xie said to each other, "If the source of the disaster is not restored, what will happen to the common people?" They were deeply worried and sighed. Liu said: "Are you really worried that the source of the problem will not arise?"
Shi Chong and Wang Dun always played together when they were in school. When they saw Yan and Yuan Xiang, they sighed and said, "If I could enter Confucius Hall with you, why would I have to be so different from others?" Wang said, "I don't know what others think? Zigong is quite close to you." Shi Chong said sternly, "A scholar should make his reputation and his reputation both good. Why should he talk to others through a jar window?"
The Master said: "Everyone says I know, but they are driven into the traps and snares, and no one knows how to avoid them. Everyone says I know, but they choose the moderate, but they cannot keep it for a month."
The word "shooting" means to "yi", or to "she". Yi means to yi, each one's own will. Therefore, if one's mind is calm and the body is upright, one should hold the bow and arrow firmly; if one holds the bow and arrow firmly, one will hit the target. Therefore, it is said: A father should aim at his father's swan; a son should aim at his son's swan; a monarch should aim at his monarch's swan; a minister should aim at his minister's swan. Therefore, each archer shoots his own swan. Therefore, the great archery of the emperor is called "shooting marquis"; shooting marquis means shooting for the princes. If you hit the target, you can become a vassal; if you miss the target, you cannot become a vassal.
In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
When Wang Ziyou went to thank Wan, Lord Lin was already there, looking at him with great respect. The king said, "If Mr. Lin had both his hair and beard intact, would his spirit and appearance be even better than this?" Xie said, "The lips and teeth are interdependent and cannot be separated. What do hair and beard have to do with spirit and appearance?" Mr. Lin was very unhappy. He said: "Today I entrust you two wise men with my seven-foot-tall body."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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