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When Xu Xuandu sent his mother out of the capital, someone asked Liu Yin, "Does Xuandu believe what he has heard?" Liu Yin said, "His talent and intelligence exceed what I have heard."
Therefore, a gentleman should be cautious and not lose his face in front of others. The king should be polite, and the ministers should be inferior to him. The ministers should be polite, and the scholars should be inferior to him. Etiquette should not be given to common people, and punishment should not be given to ministers. Punishers should not be at the king's side.
When Emperor Yuan met Sikong He for the first time, he talked about the current affairs of Wu and asked, "Who is the one who was burned and sawed off by Sun Hao?" Sikong was unable to answer, and Emperor Yuan recalled, "It was He Shao." Sikong shed tears and said, "My father suffered injustice and was deeply hurt. I have no way to respond to the imperial edict." Emperor Yuan felt ashamed and did not go out for three days.
Therefore, when a man is born, he uses a mulberry bow and a straw arrow to shoot at the four directions of heaven and earth. The four directions of heaven and earth are what a man should do. Therefore, he must first have aspirations for what he should do, and then dare to use grain. This is what it means to eat.
In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
When Wang Wendu was the chief secretary of Duke Huan, Duke Huan asked for a daughter from the king for his son, and the king agreed to ask for a daughter from Lantian. After returning, Lantian missed Wendu very much and still held him on his lap even though he had grown up. Wendu then told Huan that he wanted his daughter's knee. Lantian was furious and pushed Wendu to his knees and said, "What a shame! Wendu is foolish again. Are you afraid of Huan Wen? How can you marry your daughter to him?" Wendu replied, "My family has found a marriage place first." Duke Huan said, "I know it. It's just that your Excellency doesn't want to." Later, Huan's daughter married Wendu's son.
The betrothal gift is seven intermediaries for the upper duke, five intermediaries for the marquis and earl, and three intermediaries for the viscount and the man, so as to distinguish the noble from the humble. When introducing and conveying orders, a gentleman dares not question the one he respects, which is the utmost respect. After three concessions, he can convey the order, enter the temple gate after three concessions, reach the steps after three bows, and ascend after three concessions, so as to show respect and humility.
Therefore, in ancient times, the emperor had a system that the princes offered tribute to the emperor every year, and the emperor tested them in the archery palace. Their appearance was comparable to the ritual, and their etiquette was comparable to the music. If they hit the target more, they could participate in the sacrifice. If their appearance was not comparable to the ritual, and their etiquette was not comparable to the music, and they hit the target less, they could not participate in the sacrifice. If they participated in the sacrifice more, the king would celebrate; if they did not participate in the sacrifice, the king would give way. If there were celebrations, the land would be increased; if there were ways of giving way, the land would be reduced. Therefore, it is said: Archery is for the princes. Therefore, the princes, the rulers and the ministers devote their efforts to archery to learn rituals and music. There has never been a ruler and the ministers who practiced rituals and music and then went into exile.
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