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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When the three kings offered sacrifices to the river, they all first went to the river and then to the sea; some were the source, and some were the tributary. This is called focusing on the root.
Zisi said: "After three days of mourning, the coffin should be buried. Everything attached to the body must be sincere and trustworthy, and there should be no regrets. After three months, the coffin should be buried. Everything attached to the coffin must be sincere and trustworthy, and there should be no regrets. Three years of mourning is the limit, and once a person dies, he will not forget it. Therefore, a gentleman has a lifetime of worries, but no worries of one day. Therefore, he does not rejoice on the anniversary of his death."
On the winter solstice, Zhou Boren's mother gave wine to her three sons and said, "I thought there was nowhere to go after crossing the river. Your family has a prime minister, and you all lined up before me, so what do I have to worry about?" Zhou Song stood up, knelt down and cried, "It's not as my mother said. Boren is ambitious but incompetent, famous but ignorant, and likes to take advantage of others. This is not the way to save himself. Song is a rebellious person and is not tolerated by the world. I am the only one who is idle and should be under my mother's eyes!"
Wang Zhongxuan likes the bray of a donkey. After the burial, Emperor Wen came to the funeral and said to his companions, "The king likes the bray of a donkey. You can each make one to send him off." All the guests made the same bray.
Confucian scholars live in a difficult place, sit up and stand respectfully, speak first and be honest, and act uprightly. They do not compete for the benefits of danger and ease on the road, and do not compete for the harmony of yin and yang in winter and summer. They love death and wait for it, and nourish their bodies and do things. They are like this in their preparation.
When Su Jun was in chaos, all the Yu clans fled. When Yu Bing was the governor of Wu County, he fled alone, and all the people and officials left. Only the county soldier carried the ice out of Qiantangkou in a small boat, and Qu Shen overturned it. At that time, Jun offered a reward to recruit people to find ice, and the search was very urgent everywhere. The soldier left the boat and went to the market. He came back drunk and rowed towards the boat, saying, "Where can I find Yu Wujun? He is here." Bing was greatly frightened, but did not dare to move. The inspector saw that the boat was small and cramped, and thought that the soldiers were crazy and drunk, so he no longer suspected anything. He was sent to Zhejiang and sent to Wei's family in Shanyin, where he was saved. After the matter was settled, Bing wanted to avenge his soldiers, which was exactly what he wished. The soldier said, "I come from a servant family and don't want luxury. I suffered from whipping when I was young, and I'm always worried about not being able to drink happily. If I can drink enough for the rest of the year, I won't need any more." Bing built a big house for him, bought slaves, and kept a hundred hu of wine at the door for the rest of his life. At that time, it was said that this soldier was not only wise, but also understood life.
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