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Wang Gongyuan married the daughter of Zhuge Dan. After they entered the room and started talking, the king said to the woman, "You look humble, not like Gong Xiu at all!" The woman said, "A man cannot imitate Yan Yun, but let a woman compare herself to Ying Jie!"
Chen Zhongju of Runan and Li Yuanli of Yingchuan discussed their merits and virtues together, but could not decide who was ahead in order. Cai Bojie commented on them, saying: "Chen Zhongju is good at offending superiors, while Li Yuanli is strict in controlling his subordinates. It is difficult to offend superiors, but easy to control subordinates." Zhongju was thus ranked below the three gentlemen, and Yuanli was ranked above the eight talented people.
Liu Yin and Huan Xuanwu listened to the lecture on the Book of Rites together. Huan said: "Sometimes I feel that I am close to the mysterious door." Liu said: "This is not the ultimate, it is the words of the Jinhua Palace."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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