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When Zilu's sister died, he could have removed his hairpin, but he didn't. Confucius asked, "Why didn't you remove it?" Zilu said, "I have few brothers and sisters, but I can't bear it." Confucius said, "The previous kings established the rituals, and people on the road can't bear it." Zilu heard about it and removed it.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
All the learning of the crown prince and the scholars must be in season. In spring and summer, they learn to play the sword and spear, and in autumn and winter, they learn to play the feather and flute, all in the East Sequence. The minor music director learns the sword and spear, and the big official assists him. The flute master learns the spear and the flute master assistant assists him. The official plays the drum in the south. In spring, he recites and in summer, the master orders him. In autumn, Gu Zong learns the ritual, and the person in charge of the ritual orders him; in winter, he reads and the person in charge of the book orders him. The ritual is in Gu Zong, and the book is in Shangxiang. All the rituals of sacrifice, caring for the elderly, asking for words, and talking together are ordered by the minor music director in the East Sequence. The big music director learns to dance the sword and spear, speak, and ask for words, all of which are taught by the big music director, and the big official discusses and discusses in the East Sequence.
The You Yu clan used a tile coffin, the Xia Hou clan used a Zhou, the Yin people used a coffin, and the Zhou people placed a fan on the wall. The Zhou people used the Yin people's coffin to bury the eldest deceased, the Xia Hou clan's Zhou to bury the middle and youngest deceased, and the You Yu clan's tile coffin to bury the deceased without mourning.
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