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A gentleman has three worries: if he has not heard it, he worries that he will not be able to hear it; if he has heard it, he worries that he will not be able to learn it; if he has learned it, he worries that he will not be able to practice it. A gentleman has five shames: if he is in his position but does not speak the right words, he is ashamed; if he has the right words but does not act the right words, he is ashamed; if he has gained it and then lost it, he is ashamed; if the land is surplus but the people are insufficient, he is ashamed; if the number of people is equal but double, he is ashamed.
The king comforts the officials and the women in the palace; the officials comfort the elders in the house and the younger nephews. The king and the officials honor their parents, wives, and eldest sons, but not their concubines; the scholars honor their parents, wives, eldest sons, and concubines. If a concubine has a son, the parents do not honor his corpse. In all cases of honoring corpses, the parents are honored first, and the wife and children are honored later. The king honors his ministers, the parents hold their sons, the son honors his parents, the wife serves her uncles and aunts, the uncles and aunts honor their wives, the wife holds her husband, and the husband holds his wife and his brothers. Honoring corpses is not the place for the king. In all cases of honoring corpses, one must jump.
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
When Ji Wuzi was ill, he went to see him without saying "Qi Sui". He said, "This way of life will soon be lost. Only gentlemen can say Qi Sui in public." Wuzi said, "Isn't that good? Gentlemen should show their modesty." When he was buried, Zeng Dian leaned against his door and sang.
Huan Baonu was Wang Danyang's uncle, and looked like his uncle, so Huan was very wary of him. Xuanwu said: "It is not always similar, sometimes it looks like ears! It always looks like form, sometimes it looks like spirit." Huan Yu did not say anything.
Therefore, if male education is not cultivated, yang affairs cannot be achieved, and it happens to be seen in the sky, the sun is eclipsed; if female obedience is not cultivated, yin affairs cannot be achieved, and it happens to be seen in the sky, the moon is eclipsed. Therefore, when the sun is eclipsed, the emperor wears plain clothes and cultivates the duties of the six officials, and eliminates the yang affairs of the world; when the moon is eclipsed, the queen wears plain clothes and cultivates the duties of the six palaces, and eliminates the yin affairs of the world. Therefore, the emperor and the queen are like the sun and the moon, the yin and the yang, and they need each other to succeed. The emperor cultivates male education, which is the father's way; the queen cultivates female obedience, which is the mother's way. Therefore, it is said that the relationship between the emperor and the empress is like that between a father and his mother. Therefore, to wear mourning clothes for the emperor is the same as to wear mourning clothes for the father; to wear mourning clothes for the empress is the same as to wear mourning clothes for the mother.
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