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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Emperor Xiaowu asked Wang Shuang, "How do you compare to your brother?" Wang replied, "You are both elegant and outstanding. I am not as good as you. Loyalty and filial piety cannot be imitated by others!"
Wei Wu went to war, lost the way, the army was thirsty, so he ordered: "There is a big plum forest in front, Rao Zi, sweet and sour, can quench thirst.
A woman shall be buried with her great-grandmother. If there are three great-grandmothers, she shall be buried with the close ones. If the wife is a senior official and dies, and then her husband is no longer a senior official, but is buried with her wife, the sacrifice should not be changed; if the wife dies and then the husband is a senior official, and is buried with his wife, the sacrifice should be that of a senior official. A descendant of a father does not wear mourning clothes for his mother. The reason for not wearing mourning clothes is that the mourner does not offer sacrifices. A woman who is not the master and is caned: the aunt is caned for the husband, and the mother is caned for the eldest son. A daughter's son is in the house for the parents, and the master of the mourning does not wear a cane, then the son alone can be caned.
Gu He first worked as an official in Yangzhou. It was the first day of the lunar calendar. Before dawn, he parked his car outside the city gate. The Marquis of Zhou went to see the Prime Minister, and sat beside the carriage. And looking for lice, he remained motionless. After Zhou had passed by, he returned and pointed to Gu Xin and asked, "What is there in this place?" Gu was still scratching his lice. Xu Ying said, "This is the most unfathomable place." After Zhou Hou entered, he said to the Prime Minister, "There is a talented person among the officials in your state."
A good singer makes people follow his voice; a good teacher makes people follow his will. His words are concise but clear, subtle but good, and rarely use metaphors, which can be called continuing his will.
When Emperor Yuan's prince was born, he bestowed gifts upon all his ministers. Yin Hongqiao thanked him and said, "The birth of the prince is a cause of great joy to the whole world. I have done nothing for this, yet you have given me such a generous reward." Zhongzong laughed and said, "How can this be credited to you?"
Generally speaking, the emperor's chang, the princes' jade, the ministers' lamb, the ministers' goose, the scholar's pheasant, and the common people's gifts are horses; the boy leaves the gift and leaves. In the field, the army does not have a gift, but can use a tassel, a pick, and an arrow.
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