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During the funeral of Confucius, Gong Xichi wrote a memorial: decorating the coffin and the wall, setting up the bamboo and the shawl, which was Zhou; setting up the Chong, which was Yin; setting up the silk and the flag, which was Xia.
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
Morality, benevolence and righteousness cannot be achieved without propriety, and teaching and correcting customs cannot be achieved without propriety. When resolving disputes, do not make the decision without proper etiquette. The relationship between the ruler and his subjects, father and son, and brothers cannot be determined without propriety. When an official studies or serves a teacher, he should not be close to him without proper etiquette. When Ban Chao governs the army and takes office to enforce the law, he must act with propriety and dignity. Praying to temples and offering sacrifices to ghosts and gods are not polite, sincere or solemn. Therefore, a gentleman is respectful, frugal, and yielding in order to show courtesy. Parrots can speak, but they are still birds; orangutans can speak, but they are still animals. People nowadays are rude, even if they can speak, don’t they have the heart of beasts? Only animals are so undisciplined that fathers and sons live together. Therefore, the sages created rituals to teach people. Teach people to be polite and know how to distinguish themselves from animals.
The person who ordered the wine was poured, said, "Please serve the wine." The person who poured the wine said, "Yes." Those who were supposed to drink all knelt down to offer the wine, and said, "Pour it." The winner knelt down and said, "Respectfully raise it."
Xie Wan was appointed as the governor of Yuzhou. He was newly appointed and was about to go to the capital in the west. He was seen off for many days and Xie was exhausted. So Minister Gao went there and sat down with Xie, and asked, "You are now in charge of the provincial governorship and in charge of managing the western borders. How do you govern?" Xie roughly told him his intention. Gao then wrote several hundred words to express his gratitude. Xie then stood up and sat up. After Gao left, Xie chased after him and said, "A'ling has some talent." Therefore, Xie was able to stay until the end.
When Huan Xuanwu conquered Shu, he took Li Shi's sister as his concubine and doted on her very much, often having her sit behind the king's throne. The master was unaware of this at first, but when she heard about it, she and dozens of her maids drew their swords and attacked him. Li was combing her hair. Her hair was hanging on the ground, her complexion was as white as jade, but she remained unmoved. Xu said: "My country is destroyed and my family is ruined, I have no intention of coming to this point. If I can be killed today, it is my real wish." The lord retreated in shame.
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