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Emperor Xiaowu held a meeting in the West Hall, and Fu Tao sat down in advance. When he got off the car, he called his son and said to him, "In a gathering of hundreds of people, before sitting down, he asked, 'Where is Fu Tao? Is he here?' This is why it is not easy to answer. How is it to be a father like this?"
When he descends, he puts on his shoes and sits, and he has countless cups. The etiquette of drinking is not abandoned in the morning and in the evening. When the guest leaves, the host bows and sees him off, and the etiquette is finally completed. I know that he can make the banquet peaceful and not chaotic.
When Dai Yuan was young, he was a knight-errant who did not discipline himself and often attacked and robbed merchants between the Yangtze River and the Huai River. When Lu Ji returned to Luoyang for vacation, he had a huge baggage train. Yuan sent the young men to plunder. Yuan was on the shore, sitting on a Hu couch, directing his men and women, and they all did their job appropriately. Yuan was a man of great talent and intelligence. Although he was in a humble position, his spirit was still extraordinary. Ji said to him from afar on the boat, "You are so talented, but you still want to cause trouble?" Yuan burst into tears, threw his sword back to Ji, and spoke harshly to him. Ji valued him more and made him his friend, and wrote a letter to recommend him. After crossing the river, he was promoted to General Zhengxi.
Confucian scholars live in a difficult place, sit up and stand respectfully, speak first and be honest, and act uprightly. They do not compete for the benefits of danger and ease on the road, and do not compete for the harmony of yin and yang in winter and summer. They love death and wait for it, and nourish their bodies and do things. They are like this in their preparation.
When Xie An was young, he asked Ruan Guanglu to talk about the White Horse Theory. I wrote this essay to show Xie, but Xie did not understand what Ruan said at that time, so I consulted him again. Ruan then sighed and said, "Not only is it impossible to find someone who can explain it, it is also impossible to find someone who can explain it!"
When the king meets the guests, and the king bestows the title, they all bow twice and kowtow, and then rise to bow, which shows the etiquette of the ministers; the king returns the bow, and all the courtesy is returned, which shows the etiquette of the king. Ministers try their best to make contributions to the country, and the monarch will reward them with titles and salaries. Therefore, ministers should try their best to make contributions, so the country is safe and the monarch is at peace. There is no ritual that is not answered, which means that the superior does not take in vain from the subordinates. The superior must clarify the right way to guide the people, and the people follow the way and make contributions, and then take one tenth of it, so the superior has enough and the subordinate is not short of it; so the superior and the subordinate are in harmony and do not resent each other. Harmony and peace are the purpose of rituals; this is the great righteousness of the superior and the subordinate. Therefore, it is said that the banquet ritual is to clarify the righteousness of the superior and the subordinate.
Men and women have different heights. When a man is twenty, he is crowned and given a name. In front of the father, it is the son's name; in front of the king, it is the minister's name. When a girl is betrothed, she is given a name after she reaches the age of marriage.
The sacrifice to the king's father is called Huangzukao, and the king's mother is called Huangzubi. The father is called Huangkao, and the mother is called Huangbi. The husband is called Huangbi. When alive, they are called father, mother, and wife. When dead, they are called father, mother-in-law, and concubine.
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