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Wang Gong was with his father in Kuaiji, and Wang Dazi also came to pay homage to his father's tomb. Gong went to the tomb to see them for a while. The two men were on good terms with each other, so he returned after more than ten days. The father asked Gong, "Why did you take so many days?" He replied, "I was talking to A Da, and he was so busy that he couldn't go home." The father then said to him, "I'm afraid A Da is not your friend." In the end, they became friends, and it turned out to be just as he said.
Offering sacrifices and offering wine are respectful etiquette. Eating lungs is a ritual. Spitting wine is a ritual. At the end of the feast, it means that this is the main part of the feast, not just for eating and drinking, but for performing rituals. This is why rituals are valued and money is despised. After the cup is finished, it is placed on the west steps, which means that the feast is not just for eating and drinking. This is the meaning of putting rituals first and money second. If rituals are put first and money second, people will be respectful and yield without fighting.
When Lu Shiheng first entered Luoyang, he asked Zhang Gong where he should visit; Liu Daozhen was one of them. After Lu left, Liu was still in mourning. He was fond of drinking, and after the ceremony, he said nothing else at first, only asked: "There is a long-handled Hu Lu in Dongwu, can you get some?" The Lu brothers were very disappointed and regretted going.
Zijing wrote to Ziyou, saying "My brother and uncle are lonely and rarely get along, but when they drink, they get so drunk that they forget to go home, and that is something to be proud of."
The mourning clothes for the deceased are three liters, and after the mourning period, six liters of cloth and seven liters of cap are given; for the mother, four liters of mourning clothes for the deceased are given, seven liters of cloth and eight liters of cap are given. Remove the hemp and wear kudzu, and wear a three-layered kudzu belt. When the time comes for a minor funeral, wear a lanyard cap with a lanyard, but do not remove the sash. Men remove the head, and women remove the sash. Why do men remove the head? Why do women remove the sash? Men focus on the head, and women focus on the sash. Those who remove the heavy clothes first, and those who change clothes change to the light clothes. When the time comes for a major funeral, wear plain white and linen clothes. In the middle of the month, mourning is performed, and the mourning period is light, and everything is worn.
When Zilu's sister died, he could have removed his hairpin, but he didn't. Confucius asked, "Why didn't you remove it?" Zilu said, "I have few brothers and sisters, but I can't bear it." Confucius said, "The previous kings established the rituals, and people on the road can't bear it." Zilu heard about it and removed it.
Someone asked Yuan Shizhong, "How does Yin Zhongkan compare to Han Kangbo?" He replied, "In terms of reason and righteousness, it is hard to tell who is better or worse; but in the quiet courtyard, there are still famous scholars, and Yin is not as good as Han." Therefore, Yin wrote a eulogy: "Jingmen is closed during the day, and the idle courtyard is peaceful."
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