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Confucius returned first, and his disciples came later. It was raining heavily. When he arrived, Confucius asked him: "Why are you so late?" He said: "The tomb in Fang collapsed." Confucius did not answer., Confucius burst into tears and said: "I heard that in ancient times, tombs were not repaired."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
The etiquette for being a son is: be warm in winter and cool in summer, be alert at dusk and check on others in the morning, and do not argue with the ugly and the barbaric.
Taifu Xie said to Wang Youjun: "In middle age, I am hurt by sorrow and joy. When I say goodbye to my relatives and friends, I feel sick for several days." Wang said: "I am in my twilight years, so it is natural for me to be like this. I rely on music and calligraphy. I am always afraid that my children will notice it and ruin my joy."
When Taifu Xie was lingering in Dongshan, he went sailing on the sea with Sun Xinggong and others. The wind was blowing and the waves were surging. Sun, Wang and others were all shocked and ordered their men to return. The Taifu had a solemn look on his face, chanting and whistling without saying a word. The boatman thought the gentleman looked relaxed, but he still kept going. The wind suddenly turned strong and the waves became fierce; everyone was noisy and could not sit still. Gong Xuyun said: "If this continues, there will be no way back!" Everyone immediately responded and went back. Therefore, he was judged to be capable of maintaining peace in the government and the country.
Xi Chao dealt with Fu Yuan, and Yuan saw that his two sons had their hair tied together. Chao observed it for a long time and said to Yuan, "The younger one is more talented and famous, but the one who can protect your family will ultimately depend on your brother." These are Fu Liang's brothers.
In mourning for parents, one wears a mourning hat with a tassel and straw sandals, eats porridge for three days, bathes for three months, wears a silk hat after thirteen months, and auspiciousness comes after three years. By comparing these three festivals, the benevolent can observe their love, the wise can observe their reason, and the strong can observe their will. Govern with propriety, correct with righteousness, and filial sons, younger brothers, and chaste wives can all be observed.
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