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When the father is in mourning, the sons in the palace cannot participate in the music. When the mother is in mourning, If the sound is heard, do not play music. If the wife is in mourning, do not play music beside her. When a great achievement is about to come, set aside the zither and the harp. When a small achievement comes, do not stop the music.
Xie Wan wrote an essay on the Eight Sages, which was a counter-argument to Sun Xinggong's, and the difference was slightly better. After thanking her, she showed it to Gu Junqi, who said, "I also made it, and I know you don't want to name it."
Duke Mu asked Zisi, "Is it ancient to return to serve the old monarch?" Zisi said, "In ancient times, gentlemen promoted people with courtesy and dismissed people with courtesy, so there was a ritual of returning to serve the old monarch; today's gentlemen promote people as if they were about to kneel down and dismiss people as if they were about to cross the abyss, and do not act like the head of an enemy, isn't that good! So why is there a ritual of returning to serve?"
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Ji Sun's mother died, Duke Ai went to offer condolences. Zengzi and Zigong went to offer condolences. The gatekeeper did not let them in because the king was present. Zengzi and Zigong went into the stable and dressed up. Zigong went in first, and the gatekeeper said, "The governor has already told us." Zengzi went in later, and the gatekeeper let him in. When they went inside, the nobles and officials all left their seats, and the Duke lowered his rank and bowed to them. The gentleman said, "If you use all your skills, you will go far." When Jiefu of Yangmen died, the city manager Zihan went in and cried. The Jin people who spied on Song reported back to the Duke of Jin, saying, "Jiefu of Yangmen died, and Zihan wept bitterly, and the people were pleased. It is unlikely that he should be attacked." Confucius heard about it and said, "How good is the spying on the country! The Book of Songs says, 'When the people are in mourning, they should be supported and clothed.' Although it is only a small country like Jin, who in the world can do it?"
The ruler of the world is called the Son of Heaven. He meets the princes, assigns duties and grants government and merits, and is called "I am one person". He ascends the throne and attends sacrifices: for internal affairs, he is called "Xiao Wang So-and-so", and for external affairs, he is called "Successor Wang So-and-so". When he is in charge of the princes and ghosts and gods, he is called "You are the Heavenly King So-and-so". When he dies, he is called "The Heavenly King Blew". When he recovers, he is called "The Son of Heaven Has Recovered". When he announces his death, he is called "The Heavenly King Takes Charge". He is placed in the temple and the master is called "Emperor". Before the Son of Heaven is released from mourning, he is called "I am the little son". He is called this name when he is alive and he is called this name when he is dead.
During the time of Su Jun, Kong Qun was forced to surrender in Hengtang by Kuang Shu. Prime Minister Wang kept Shu in his care, and when everyone was sitting and joking, he asked Shu to persuade people to drink in order to ease the regret about Hengtang. The crowd replied, "The virtue is not Confucius's, and the misfortune is the same as that of Kuang people. Although the sun and the air are warm, and the eagle is transformed into a dove, even those who know it will still hate its eyes."
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