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The rituals for women are established to make it clear that women are obedient, and they are also explained in order, so that women are required to be obedient. A submissive woman is obedient to her uncles and aunts, and harmonious with the family members; then she is responsible to her husband, and completes the affairs of silk, linen, cloth and silk, and carefully guards the accumulation and storage. Therefore, only when women are obedient can the family be harmonious and orderly; only when the family is harmonious and orderly can the family last long; therefore, the sage kings attach great importance to it.
When Jia Chong first formulated laws and decrees, he and Yang Hu consulted with Grand Tutor Zheng Chong. Chong said, "Gao Yao's strict and righteous intention is beyond the reach of my cowardice." Yang said, "The emperor wants us to have a little more progress." Chong then gave his consent.
The etiquette for being a son is: be warm in winter and cool in summer, be alert at dusk and check on others in the morning, and do not argue with the ugly and the barbaric.
Emperor Wu once visited King Wuzi's house, and King Wuzi provided him with food and used colored glass utensils. There were more than a hundred maids, all wearing silk and satin, and holding food and drink with their hands. The stewed pork is fat and delicious, different from other dishes. The emperor was surprised and asked about it, and the answer was: "Drinking human milk from pigs." The emperor was very upset and left before finishing his meal. Wang and Shi are not aware of this work.
What makes a person a person is courtesy and righteousness. The beginning of courtesy and righteousness lies in straightening the body, harmonizing the color, and smoothing the words. When the body is straight, the color is straight, and the words are smooth, then courtesy and righteousness are complete. So the relationship between the monarch and the minister is straight, the father and son are close, and the elders and the younger are harmonious. When the monarch and the minister are straight, the father and son are close, and the elders and the younger are harmonious, then courtesy and righteousness are established. Therefore, after the crown is worn, the clothes are ready. After the clothes are ready, the body is straight, the color is uniform, and the words are smooth. Therefore, it is said that the crown is the beginning of etiquette. Therefore, the ancient sage kings attached great importance to the crown.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Zhang Cangwu was the ancestor of Zhang Ping. He once said to Ping鈥檚 father, 鈥淚 am not as good as you.鈥 Ping鈥檚 father did not understand why. Cangwu said, "You have a beautiful son." Ping was a few years old at that time. He put his hands together and said, "Old man, how can you tease your father with your son?"
The mother of the king is not the lady, so the ministers do not wear clothes. Only the close ministers and the servants and carriages wear clothes, and only the king wears clothes. The duke is a minister and a minister. He wears mourning clothes when he is at home, and he does the same when he goes out. He wears the cap and sash when he is in charge of things. The senior officials are the same. For his wife, he should wear mourning clothes when he goes out, but not when he goes out.
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