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Jianwen and Xu Xuandu shared the same words, Xu Yun: "It is difficult to raise the king and relatives."
He Yan was the Minister of Personnel and held a prestigious position. His room was always filled with guests for conversation. Wang Bi, who was not yet twenty years old, went to see him. Yan heard of Bi's name, so he cited the superior theory of the previous one and said to Bi: "I think this theory is the best, can you challenge it again?" Bi then challenged, and everyone in the room thought he was inferior. So Bi acted as the host and the guest several times, but each time he was better than others.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Wang Xiuling asked Wang Changshi: "How does my family, Linchuan, compare to your family, Wanling?" Changshi did not answer, Xiuling said: "Linchuan is well-known for its high reputation." Changshi said: "Wanling is not unworthy."
Zhang Xuanzhi and Gu Fu were the grandchildren of Gu Hezhong. Both of them were smart and intelligent since they were young. He knew it, and often said that Gu Sheng was too close to Zhang, which made Zhang quite unhappy. At that time, Zhang was nine years old and Gu was seven years old. They went to the temple together. When they saw the Buddha's Nirvana statue, some of the disciples cried, while some did not. They asked their two grandsons about it. Xuan said, "Weep when you are loved by others, and don't cry when you are not loved by others." Fu said: "No, it is because I forgot my feelings that I did not cry, and I could not forget my feelings that I cried."
When Shan Gong met Ji and Ruan, they became close friends. Shan's wife, Han, noticed that the relationship between the Duke and the other two was different from usual, so she asked the Duke about it. The Duke said, “The only two men I could be friends with in those days were these two!” His wife said, “Fu Ji’s wife also watched Hu and Zhao in person and wanted to spy on them. Is that okay?” The next day, the two men came, and his wife advised the Duke to stay with them for the night and prepared some wine and meat. I climbed through the wall at night to look at it, and forgot to return until dawn. The Duke came in and asked, "What do you think of these two?" His wife said, "Your talent is far inferior to mine. We should just be friends because of our understanding." The Duke said, "They also always think I am better than them in understanding."
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