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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Liu Ling was always indulging in drinking and being unrestrained. Sometimes he would take off his clothes and walk naked in the house, and people would laugh at him. Ling said: "I use the heaven and earth as my building, and my house as my clothes. Why do you want to enter my army?"
Wang Gong was with his father in Kuaiji, and Wang Dazi also came to pay homage to his father's tomb. Gong went to the tomb to see them for a while. The two men were on good terms with each other, so he returned after more than ten days. The father asked Gong, "Why did you take so many days?" He replied, "I was talking to A Da, and he was so busy that he couldn't go home." The father then said to him, "I'm afraid A Da is not your friend." In the end, they became friends, and it turned out to be just as he said.
Duke Yu wanted to re-employ Zhou Zinan, but Zinan became even more stubborn in his refusal. Whenever Yu visited Zhou, Yu entered from the south gate and Zhou left from the back gate. Once, Yu arrived in a hurry and Zhou could not leave, so they stayed together all day. Yu asked Zhou for food. Zhou brought out vegetables, and Yu forced himself to eat. They were very happy. They talked about worldly affairs and agreed to recommend each other to share the responsibility of helping the world. After he entered the officialdom, he was promoted to the rank of general, 2,000 stones, but was not satisfied with it In the middle of the night he said with deep emotion: "A real man has been betrayed by Yu Yuangui!" After a sigh, he died of a rash on his back.
When Taifu Xie was lingering in Dongshan, he went sailing on the sea with Sun Xinggong and others. The wind was blowing and the waves were surging. Sun, Wang and others were all shocked and ordered their men to return. The Taifu had a solemn look on his face, chanting and whistling without saying a word. The boatman thought the gentleman looked relaxed, but he still kept going. The wind suddenly turned strong and the waves became fierce; everyone was noisy and could not sit still. Gong Xuyun said: "If this continues, there will be no way back!" Everyone immediately responded and went back. Therefore, he was judged to be capable of maintaining peace in the government and the country.
Gu Changkang’s painting of Xie Youyu on the rocks is wonderful. People asked why? Gu said, "Xie Yun said, 'One hill and one valley, I think I am beyond them.' This boy should be placed in a hill or valley."
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