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When marrying a woman to the emperor, it is said to prepare the people; to the king, it is said to prepare wine and liquor; to the minister, it is said to prepare sweeping.
Zixia asked Confucius, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my parents?" Confucius said, "Sleep on straw and use dry wood as pillow, do not serve in the government, and do not share the world with them; if you meet them in the market, do not fight with them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my brothers?" Confucius said, "Serve in the government and do not share the country with them; if I am sent by the king, I will not fight with them even if I meet them." He said, "What should I do if I am the enemy of my uncle and brothers?" Confucius said, "If I am not the leader, if the host is capable, I will hold the weapon and accompany them behind."
Zengzi said: "The filial son provides for the elderly by making his heart happy and not violating his will, making his ears and eyes happy, making his bed comfortable, and providing him with food and drink. The filial son who is loyal to the parents provides for the whole life. The whole life is not the whole life of the parents, but the whole life of the parents. Therefore, the parents also love what they love and respect what they respect. This is true even for dogs and horses, let alone humans!" Regarding the provision of elderly care, the Five Emperors had regulations and the Three Kings had requests for advice. The Five Emperors followed the rule of nurturing the spirit and not asking for advice. If they did something good, they would record it as a dunshi. The Three Kings also followed the rule of nurturing the elderly and then asking for advice. They also did not follow the etiquette and all had dunshi.
When Taiji Hall was first completed, Wang Zijing was the chief secretary of Lord Xie. Xie sent a plate to Wang to have him write on it. The king looked dissatisfied and said to Xin, "You can throw the chopsticks outside the door." Later, Xie saw the king and said, "What about hanging the inscription in the upper hall? In the past, people like Wei Dan in the Wei Dynasty also wrote it themselves." The king said, "That's why the Wei Dynasty did not last long." Xie thought it was a famous saying.
If the eldest son is given a stick, his son will not take the position with the stick. For a wife, if the parents are alive, do not use a stick, do not bow the head. If the mother is alive, do not bow the head. Bowing the head means bowing in the gift. If you disobey the senior official of the princes, you will not return to wear clothes.
On the winter solstice, Zhou Boren's mother gave wine to her three sons and said, "I thought there was nowhere to go after crossing the river. Your family has a prime minister, and you all lined up before me, so what do I have to worry about?" Zhou Song stood up, knelt down and cried, "It's not as my mother said. Boren is ambitious but incompetent, famous but ignorant, and likes to take advantage of others. This is not the way to save himself. Song is a rebellious person and is not tolerated by the world. I am the only one who is idle and should be under my mother's eyes!"
Wang Youjun had always looked down on Lantian, but Lantian's praise for him increased in his later years, which made Youjun particularly dissatisfied. Lantian was in danger in Kuaiji, so he stopped at Shanyin to hold funerals. Youjun was in charge of the county and repeatedly expressed his condolences, but to no avail. Later he went to the gate and let in. The host was crying, so he did not go forward but left, humiliating him. As a result, a great rift between them arose. Later, Lantian was approaching Yangzhou. The Right Army was still in the county. When he first got the news, he sent a military officer to the court to request that Kuaiji be divided into Yuezhou. However, the messenger disobeyed the imperial order and was laughed at by the wise men of the time. Lantian secretly ordered his men to count all the illegal activities in the county, and since there was already a rift between them, he ordered them to deal with it themselves. Youjun then claimed illness and left the county, and died in indignation.
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