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Gu Shao once had a conversation with Pang Shiyuan, who asked, "I heard that you are famous for knowing people. Who is better, me or you?" He replied, "In terms of being influenced by the world and rising and falling with the times, I am not as good as you; but in discussing the remaining strategies of kingship and hegemony and viewing the key points of reliance, I seem to be one day better than you." Shao also felt at ease with his words.
When serving food to elders, if the host serves the food personally, then one should bow before eating; if the host does not serve the food personally, then one should eat without bowing.
The record of the crown prince says: When he arrives at the door of the great bedroom in the morning and evening, he asks the eunuch: "How are you today?" The eunuch says: "Today is good." The crown prince will be happy. If there is something wrong, the eunuch will tell the crown prince, and the crown prince will look worried and dissatisfied. The eunuch says "return to the beginning", and then he will return to the beginning. When the food is served in the morning and evening, the crown prince must be there to check the cold and warm. After the food is served, ask what is delicious. He must know what is served, and order the chef to take care of it, and then leave. If the eunuch says "illness", the crown prince will take care of it in person. The food prepared by the chef must be looked at with respect; the medicine for illness must be tasted personally. If the food is good, the prince can eat it; if the food is poor, the prince cannot be full; until it returns to the original state, then it will return to the original state.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Xie Wuyi has a rough and strong character. Because they were not getting along well, he went to Wang Lantian and cursed him. Wang stood facing the wall with a serious expression and dared not move for half a day. After Xie left for a long time, he turned around and asked the clerks around him, "Have you left?" They answered, "Already left." Then he sat down again. People at that time admired his impatient nature but his ability to tolerate things.
Gu Changkang worshipped Huan Xuanwu's tomb and composed a poem: "The mountains collapsed and the seas dried up, where will the fish and birds go?" Someone asked him: "You relied on Huan so much, can you see your crying?" Gu said: "My nose is like a wide wind, and my eyes are like a river bursting." Someone else said: "My voice is like thunder that breaks the mountain, and my tears are like a river pouring into the sea."
Zisi's mother died in Wei, and he went to Zisi, and Zisi cried in the temple. When the disciples came, they said, "Shu's mother died, why did you cry in Confucius' temple?" Zisi said, "I was wrong, I was wrong." Then he cried in another room.
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