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When Jin Jianwen was the governor of an army, the dust on the bed he sat on was so thick that he could not even hear the dust brushed away. He could see the footprints of a rat and thought it was a good thing. A military officer saw a rat walking in broad daylight and ordered it to be killed with a board in his hand. The governor was unhappy with this and his men rose up in protest. The teacher said: "I cannot forget the fact that I was harmed by rats. Now, is it wrong to use rats to harm people?"
Liu Yin and Huan Xuanwu listened to the lecture on the Book of Rites together. Huan said: "Sometimes I feel that I am close to the mysterious door." Liu said: "This is not the ultimate, it is the words of the Jinhua Palace."
If you are not sitting or standing, do not go to participate; if you are not standing, do not go beyond the middle.
Someone asked, "Why do people bury their parents after three days of death?" The answer is: filial sons are sad and resentful when their parents die, so they crawl on the ground and cry, as if they will be resurrected, how can they be taken away and buried. Therefore, it is said that the funeral is held after three days, in order to wait for the body to be reborn. If the body is not reborn after three days, it is also dead. The filial son's heart will also be weakened; the family plan and clothing can also be completed; the distant relatives can also come. Therefore, the sages made a decision to set a three-day ritual system.
A gentleman acts according to his position and does not want to go beyond it. If you are rich and noble, behave like a rich and noble person; if you are poor and humble, behave like a poor and humble person; if you are a barbarian, behave like a barbarian; if you are in trouble, behave like a barbarian. A gentleman is content with everything he does. If he is in a high position, he will not bully those below him; if he is in a low position, he will not rely on those above him; if he is upright and does not seek help from others, he will not have any complaints. He will not blame the heaven above him, nor will he blame others below him. Therefore, a gentleman lives in ease and waits for his fate. A villain takes risks and hopes for luck. Confucius said, "Shooting is like a gentleman. If he misses the target, he should look for the reason in himself."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Therefore, in ancient times, women were married for three months before the ancestral temple was destroyed. They were taught in the palace, and after the ancestral temple was destroyed, they were taught in the clan, and taught about women's virtues, women's words, women's appearance, and women's achievements. After the teaching was completed, fish was used as the sacrifice, and it was stir-fried with duckweed, so that women were obedient.
Yuan Yang once visited Liu Hui, but Hui was sleeping inside and had not yet woken up. Yuan Yin composed a poem to tune it: "The horn pillow is as bright as the silk, and the brocade quilt is as rotten as the long mat." Liu Shang, the daughter of Emperor Ming of Jin, saw the poem and was dissatisfied, saying: "Yuan Yang, a madman left over from the ancient times!"
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