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Xu Yun's wife was the daughter of Ruan Weiwei. She was as virtuous as her sister but extremely ugly. After the formalities were exchanged, Yun refused to continue his talk, and his family members were deeply worried. When a guest arrived in Huiyun, the wife asked her maid to check him out, and she replied, "It's Huan Lang." Huan Lang is Huan Fan. The woman said, "Don't worry, Huan will persuade you to come in." Huan indeed said to Xu, "Since the Ruan family married their ugly daughter to you, they must be interested in you. You should observe it." Xu then went back inside. As soon as he saw the woman, he wanted to leave. The woman realized that after he left, there was no way he would come back, so she grabbed his skirt and stopped him. "Xu Yin said, "A woman has four virtues. How many of them do you have? "The woman said, "The only thing a new bride lacks is your appearance. However, a scholar has a hundred virtues, how many do you have? "Xu Yun: "All are ready." "The woman said: "Virtue is the most important of all virtues. You like lust but not virtue. How can you say you have everything?" "Yun felt ashamed and began to respect him.
The guests went to Chen Taiqiu to stay overnight, and Taiqiu asked Yuanfang and Jifang to cook. The guest was discussing with Taiqiu, and the two of them brought in fire, both of them were silent and eavesdropping. I forgot to use chopsticks and spatula when cooking, and the rice fell into the pot. Taiqiu asked, "Why don't you cook with steam?" Yuanfang and Jifang knelt down and said, "Your Excellency was talking with a guest, and we were eavesdropping. We forgot to bring chopsticks and a basket when cooking, and now the rice has become porridge." Taiqiu said, "Do you know anything about it?" They replied, "I just remember it." The two men spoke at the same time and took turns to talk, without losing anything. Taiqiu said: "In this case, just eating rice is enough, why do we need rice?"
The one who makes an adult will be required to perform the etiquette of adulthood. The one who requires the etiquette of adulthood will be required to perform the etiquette of being a son, a younger brother, a minister, and a younger person. If the four behaviors are performed on people, can the etiquette not be important?
A gentleman knows the reasons why teaching is flourishing and the reasons why teaching is abolished, and then he can be a teacher. Therefore, the gentleman's teaching is to guide but not to force, to force but not to suppress, and to open but not to reach. If you follow the way but don't force it, you will be harmonious; if you are strong but don't suppress it, you will be easy; if you open but don't reach it, you will think; harmony and ease with thinking can be called good metaphor.
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