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A gentleman is one who is well-informed, strong in knowledge, and humble, and who is kind and not lazy. A gentleman does not exhaust people's favors or exhaust people's loyalty, but maintains friendship.
After Yin Zhongkan passed away, Huan Xuan asked Zhongwen, "What kind of person was your Zhongkan?" Zhongwen said, "Although he could not bring glory to the world, he was able to shine through the nine springs."
Zengzi asked, "When the burial leads to the grave, if the sun is eclipsed, will there be changes? Or not?" Confucius said, "In the past, I followed Lao Dan to help with the burial in Xiangdang. When we reached the grave, the sun was eclipsed. Lao Dan said, 'Qiu! Stop the coffin, stand on the right side of the road, stop crying and wait for changes.' After daybreak, he turned back and went on. He said, 'It is the etiquette.' When the burial was reversed, Qiu asked, 'The coffin cannot be reversed. If the sun is eclipsed, how can we go if we don't know how late it will be?' Lao Dan said, 'The princes go to the emperor's court, and leave the sacrifice at the sun; the officials go to the emperor's court, and leave the sacrifice at the sun. The coffin does not leave early and does not stay late. Only criminals and those who go to the funeral of their parents go on the journey when they see the stars! The sun is eclipsed, how do you know that the stars are not visible? Moreover, a gentleman practices etiquette and does not take people's relatives as his concern. 'I heard Lao Dan say this.
When Shan Gong met Ji and Ruan, they became close friends. Shan's wife, Han, noticed that the relationship between the Duke and the other two was different from usual, so she asked the Duke about it. The Duke said, “The only two men I could be friends with in those days were these two!” His wife said, “Fu Ji’s wife also watched Hu and Zhao in person and wanted to spy on them. Is that okay?” The next day, the two men came, and his wife advised the Duke to stay with them for the night and prepared some wine and meat. I climbed through the wall at night to look at it, and forgot to return until dawn. The Duke came in and asked, "What do you think of these two?" His wife said, "Your talent is far inferior to mine. We should just be friends because of our understanding." The Duke said, "They also always think I am better than them in understanding."
Wang Gongyuan married the daughter of Zhuge Dan. After they entered the room and started talking, the king said to the woman, "You look humble, not like Gong Xiu at all!" The woman said, "A man cannot imitate Yan Yun, but let a woman compare herself to Ying Jie!"
When Duke Huan of the Han Dynasty was on his northern expedition and passed through Jincheng, he saw the willows he had planted when he was in Langya, all of which were ten feet in circumference. He sighed and said, "If trees are like this, how can people bear it!" He climbed up the branches and held onto the twigs, tears streaming down his face.
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