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When a girl is betrothed, she is given a tassel; unless there is a serious reason, she will not enter the bride's house. When aunts, sisters, and daughters return home after getting married, brothers should not sit at the same table with them, nor eat from the same utensils with them. Father and son sit at different tables.
Jiang Pushe was young, and Prime Minister Wang asked him to play chess. Wang's skills are not as good as those of the other two, but he wants to compete with them. Let's try and see. The river does not flow immediately. Wang asked, "Why don't you do it?" Jiang said, "I'm afraid I can't do it." A guest nearby said, "This young man is not bad at playing games." Wang raised his head and said, "This young man is not only good at playing Go."
During the funeral of Duke Dao, Ji Zhaozi asked Meng Jingzi, "What should the monarch eat?" Jingzi said, "Eating porridge is the most common etiquette in the world. The fact that we three ministers cannot live in the public office has been heard by everyone in the four directions. If I try hard to be poor, then I can do it. Wouldn't it make people suspect that I live in poor conditions without emotion? I will eat."
Wang Youjun was good at calligraphy, as were Wang Jingren and Xu Xuandu. After the two men died, Youjun became even more successful in debates. Kong Yan warned him, saying, "Your Excellency, in the past you had close relations with Wang and Xu. But after they passed away, you did not take good care of them. This is unacceptable to the people." Youjun felt very ashamed.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
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