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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.
When Huan Xuanwu went on a northern expedition, Yuan Hu followed him, but was reprimanded and dismissed from office. I will have to announce the news, and call Yuan Yima to write it. He kept writing and soon had seven sheets of paper, which were quite impressive. Dongting was standing beside him and was greatly impressed by his talent. Yuan Hu said: "You should make your teeth and tongue idle and benefit from it."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Invite the guest, "Throw it in order. If the two throws are not released, the winner will drink. After the cup is served, please set up a horse for the winner. One horse follows two horses. After three horses are set up, please celebrate with more horses." The host asked the host to do the same.
When the body is restored, if there is a forest, the Yu people will set up steps; if there is no forest, the Di people will set up steps. The minor officials will be restored, and the restored ones will wear court clothes. The lord wears a roll, the wife wears a bowed Di; the senior official wears a black and red, the wife wears a jacket; the scholar wears a juebi, and the scholar's wife wears a tax dress. All of them rise from the east, walk in the middle room, face north three steps, throw the clothes in front, and the Si Ming receives them, and then descend from the northwest. If he is a guest, the official residence will be restored, but the private residence will not be restored; if he is in the wild, he will rise to the left hub of his carriage and restore. The clothes are not used to cover the body, nor are they used to bury it. When a woman is buried, she does not wear a robe. When a man is buried, he is called by his name, while a woman is called by her courtesy name. Only when crying is buried first, and then the funeral ceremony is performed.
When cleaning the feces for an elder, one must put a broom on the dustpan and use the sleeves to hold it back; if the dust does not reach the elder, one can use the dustpan from the home side to scoop it up. The seat is like a bridge. Where shall we sit and where shall we put our clothes? Xi: Among the south and north, the west is the best; among the east and west, the south is the best.
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