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The so-called self-cultivation is to regulate one's family. One should avoid what one loves, avoid what one despises, avoid what one fears, avoid what one pities, and avoid what one is lazy about. Therefore, there are few people in the world who know the evil of what one likes and the beauty of what one hates. Therefore, there is a proverb: "No one knows the evil of his son, and no one knows the greatness of his seedling. "This means that if you do not cultivate yourself, you cannot manage your family.
Whenever Huan Ziye heard a beautiful song, he would always cry out, "What can I do?" When Xie Gong heard this, he said, "Ziye is truly a man of deep affection."
When Ruan Guanglu was in Shan, he had a good car and he lent it to everyone who asked for it. Someone wanted to borrow money to bury his mother but did not dare to ask. When Queen Ruan heard this, she sighed and said, "I have a carriage but people are afraid to lend it to me. What's the use of the carriage?" Then she burned it.
Liu Ling was always indulging in drinking and being unrestrained. Sometimes he would take off his clothes and walk naked in the house, and people would laugh at him. Ling said: "I use the heaven and earth as my building, and my house as my clothes. Why do you want to enter my army?"
Chen Zhongju's words were a model for scholars, his behavior was a role model for the world, he got on the carriage and took the reins, with the ambition to clear up the world. When he arrived as the prefect of Yuzhang, he asked where Xu Ruzi was, wanting to see him first. The chief clerk said, "Everyone wants you to enter the palace first." Chen said, "King Wu of Zhou was in Shang Rong's house, and he didn't even have time to warm up his seat. Why shouldn't I show respect to the virtuous?"
When Xie Wan went on the northern expedition, he often whistled and sang to show off his superiority, and never tried to comfort his soldiers. Xie Gong loved Wan very much, but he knew that he would definitely fail, so he went with him. Congrong said to Wan: "You are the marshal, you should invite the generals to banquets more often to win their hearts." Wan followed his advice. He summoned all the generals, but none of them said anything. He just pointed at the four people sitting around him and said, "You are all strong soldiers." The generals were very angry. In order to express his gratitude and trust, Mr. Xie personally visited everyone from the captain of the army to the commander-in-chief and expressed his sincere gratitude. When everything went wrong, the army wanted to get rid of him. He then said, "I should become a hermit." So fortunately he was spared.
When the meal is finished, the guest kneels in front and finishes the meal and gives it to the prime minister. The host stands up and says goodbye to the guest, and then the guest sits down. When serving drinks to elders, one must stand up when the wine is served and bow to receive it. The elder said goodbye, and the younger one returned to the table and drank. The elders raised the wine but it was not brewed yet, and the younger ones dared not drink. When elders give gifts, the young and the humble dare not refuse. When fruit is given to the king, those who have seeds should keep the seeds in their pockets. When I serve food to the king, and the king gives me other things, the parts of the vessels that are used to irrigate them do not need to be written, but the rest should be written.
Li Yuanli once sighed about Xun Shu and Zhong Hao, saying: "Mr. Xun's wisdom is hard to emulate, while Mr. Zhong's virtue is worthy of being a model."
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