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There are six ways to serve: one is to be close to relatives, two is to respect the elders, three is to name, four is to go in and out, five is to respect the elders, and six is to follow the service. There are six ways to serve: following relatives, following disciples, following with service but not with service, following without service but with service, following the heavy and then the light, and following the light and then the heavy.
When the princes send out their wives, the wives will come to their country with the etiquette of wives; when they arrive, they will enter with wives. The messenger was about to order, saying, "My lord is incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I have sent my envoy to report this to the steward." The host replied, "My lord has already refused to teach me before. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The officials laid out the utensils; the host's officials also received them. When the wife left, the husband sent someone to bring her back, saying, "I am incompetent and cannot serve the altars and ancestral temples. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The host replied, "My son is unfilial. I dare not avoid punishment. I dare not be disrespectful and must wait for your order." The messenger withdrew, and the host bowed to see him off. If the uncle is alive, he should be called uncle; if the uncle is dead, he should be called brother; if there is no brother, he should be called husband. The host's resignation was, "My son is unfilial." If they were aunts or sisters, they would also be called.
Sima Huan was ill. Xie Gong went to visit his sick father and entered through the east gate. Duke Huan looked at him from a distance and sighed, "It has been a long time since I have seen such a man among my followers!"
People at that time said of Ruan Sikuang: "He is not as strong as Youjun in spirit, not as elegant as Zhenchang, not as graceful as Zhongzu, not as thoughtful as Yuanyuan, but he has the beauty of all of them."
Zixia said: "The five ultimates have been heard, and I dare to ask what the three nothings are?" Confucius said: "Music without sound, ritual without body, mourning without clothes, this is called the three nothings. "Zixia said: "I have heard the three "nothings" briefly. May I ask which poem is closest to them?" Confucius said: "'The life of the morning and the evening is to be forgiven and secret' is the music without sound. 'The dignity and manners are so great that they cannot be chosen' is the etiquette without form. 'When the people are in mourning, they crawl to save them' is the mourning without clothes."
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