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When consulting an elder, one must hold a stick and follow his lead. It is impolite to answer an elder's question without declining.
After Huan Xuanwu deposed the Grand Prime Minister and his son, he submitted another memorial saying, "We should give up our immediate interests in order to preserve our distant plans. If we get rid of the Grand Prime Minister and his son, we will have no future worries." Jianwen replied to the memorial by hand, saying, "I cannot bear to say it, let alone say too much." Xuanwu submitted another memorial, and his words became more bitter. Jianwen replied, "If the Jin Dynasty is prosperous, you should obey this edict. If the good fortune is gone, please avoid the path of the wise!" Duke Huan read the edict, his hands trembled with sweat, and he stopped there. Taizai and his son moved far away to Xin'an.
A gentleman knows the reasons why teaching is flourishing and the reasons why teaching is abolished, and then he can be a teacher. Therefore, the gentleman's teaching is to guide but not to force, to force but not to suppress, and to open but not to reach. If you follow the way but don't force it, you will be harmonious; if you are strong but don't suppress it, you will be easy; if you open but don't reach it, you will think; harmony and ease with thinking can be called good metaphor.
When Wang Gong returned from Kuaiji, Wang Da looked at him. Seeing him sitting on a six-foot-long mat, he said to Gong, "You came from the east, so you should have this thing. You can give me one." Gong said nothing. After the emperor leaves, those who are sitting there will be carried away to see him off. Since there were no other seats, he sat on the table. The Queen was very surprised when she heard this and said, "I thought you had too much, so I asked for it." He replied, "My father-in-law is not respectful enough. A respectful person has nothing to gain."
Taifu Xie was the horseman of Duke Huan's company. When Duke Huan went to see Xie, Xie was combing his hair and quickly took out his clothes and hat. Duke Huan said, "Why bother with this?" Then they stayed down and talked until nightfall. After he left, he said to his attendants, "Have you ever seen such a person?"
When Guo Zhaozi's mother died, he asked Zi Zhang, "At the funeral and tomb, what positions should men and women take?" Zi Zhang said, "At the funeral of Si Tu Jingzi, Confucius was the prime minister, and men faced west and women faced east." He said, "Ah! No." He said, "At my funeral, Si was involved. You are responsible for it, the guests are guests, the host is the host--women and men all face west."
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