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Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, “Did your ancestors mourn their mothers?” He said, “Yes”. “Why did you not let Bai mourn?” Zisi said, “My ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai’s mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai’s mother.” Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.
When the senior officials meet the king, the king shall bow to him. When the scholars meet the senior officials, the senior officials shall bow to him. When the same country meets for the first time, the host shall bow to him. The king shall not return the bow to the scholars; if they are not his subjects, they shall return the bow. The ministers, even if they are lowly, must return the greetings.
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
Zi Yun: "A gentleman forgives his parents' faults and respects their virtues." The Analects says: "If one does not change his father's way for three years, he can be called filial." Gaozong said: "For three years, he did not speak, and he would complain if he spoke." Zi Yun: "If one obeys orders without anger, gives subtle advice without getting tired, and works hard without complaining, he can be called filial." The Book of Poetry
Zengzi asked, "What should I do if the king dies and the crown prince is born?" Confucius said, "The ministers and officials should be punished.
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