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When Duke Wen was first persuaded to ascend the throne by the envoy of Prime Minister Liu, his mother, Cui, insisted on staying, so Jiao broke off his sleeve and left. Even though he was highly respected, his local status was still not higher than others. An imperial edict was issued for each title.
Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"
Zixia asked the Master, "Live in the funeral of your mother and wife." "Live, talk, eat and drink."
During the day, it is okay to stay inside and ask about someone's illness; at night, it is okay to stay outside and express condolences. Therefore, a gentleman does not stay outside unless there is a major cause; he does not stay inside day and night unless he is in Qi or is not ill.
When a dog Zhongni kept died, he asked Zigong to bury it, saying, "I have heard that if you do not discard an old curtain, you will bury the horse; if you do not discard an old cover, you will bury the dog. I am poor and have no cover; I also gave him a mat at his fiefdom so that his head would not be sunk."
The so-called self-cultivation is to regulate one's family. One should avoid what one loves, avoid what one despises, avoid what one fears, avoid what one pities, and avoid what one is lazy about. Therefore, there are few people in the world who know the evil of what one likes and the beauty of what one hates. Therefore, there is a proverb: "No one knows the evil of his son, and no one knows the greatness of his seedling. "This means that if you do not cultivate yourself, you cannot manage your family.
In mourning, one should not eat for three days; in mourning of the same age, one should not eat for two days; in mourning of the great merit, one should not eat for three days; in mourning of the minor merit, one should not eat for two days; in mourning of the scholar, one should not eat for one day. Therefore, in the funeral of parents, after the funeral, one should eat porridge, and in the morning, one should spill one rice, and no one should spill one rice; in mourning of the same age, one should eat simple food and drink water, and not eat vegetables and fruits; in mourning of the great merit, one should not eat soy sauce; in mourning of the minor merit, one should not drink sweet wine. This is the expression of grief in food and drink.
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