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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Yu Chan first composed the Yangdu Fu, Dao Wen and Yu said: "Wen is a symbol of righteousness, and Yu is the hope of the people. When it resonates, it is as loud as gold, and when it is compared with virtue, it is as bright as jade." When Yu Gong heard that the fu was completed, he asked to see it and gave it as a gift. Chan changed "望" to "俊", and "亮" to "润".
When Shan Gong met Ji and Ruan, they became close friends. Shan's wife, Han, noticed that the relationship between the Duke and the other two was different from usual, so she asked the Duke about it. The Duke said, “The only two men I could be friends with in those days were these two!” His wife said, “Fu Ji’s wife also watched Hu and Zhao in person and wanted to spy on them. Is that okay?” The next day, the two men came, and his wife advised the Duke to stay with them for the night and prepared some wine and meat. I climbed through the wall at night to look at it, and forgot to return until dawn. The Duke came in and asked, "What do you think of these two?" His wife said, "Your talent is far inferior to mine. We should just be friends because of our understanding." The Duke said, "They also always think I am better than them in understanding."
Sun Sheng was a military officer in the record room of Yu Gong. He went hunting and took his two sons with him. Yu Gong didn't know this, and suddenly he saw Qi Zhuang in the hunting ground. He was about seven or eight years old. Yu said, "Are you coming again?" He answered immediately, "As the saying goes, 'No matter how small or big, I will follow you.'"
Xi Chongxi wrote to Xie Gong, saying: "Wang Jingren heard that a young man aspires to ascend the throne. I wonder if Duke Huan's virtue has declined, and if he is afraid of the younger generation's restoration?"
Zeng Zi asked: "What should be done if there is a funeral? What comes first and what comes later?" Confucius said: "In the funeral, the light is first and then the heavy; the offering is first and then the light; it is a ritual. From the beginning to the funeral, there is no offering, and there is no mourning during the funeral; after the funeral, there is an offering, and then say goodbye to the funeral, and then do the funeral. The funeral is first heavy and then light, which is a ritual." Confucius said: "Even if the son of the clan is seventy, there is no one without a mistress; if he is not a son of the clan, it is okay even if he has no mistress."
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