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Men and women do not know each other without a matchmaker; they do not interact or get close to each other without money. Therefore, the sun and the moon are used to inform the king, and all warnings are used to inform the ghosts and gods. Wine and food are prepared to invite neighbors and colleagues to show their respect.
Therefore, the rite of audience is to clarify the righteousness between the monarch and the ministers. The rite of marriage is to make the princes respect each other. The rite of funeral and sacrifice is to clarify the grace of the ministers. The rite of drinking in the village is to clarify the order of the elders and the young. The rite of marriage is to clarify the difference between men and women. Rites are the source of restraint and chaos, just like the source of water in the village. Therefore, those who destroy the old temple because they think it is useless will surely be destroyed by water; those who destroy the old ritual because they think it is useless will surely be destroyed by water.
Wang Situ’s wife, the daughter of Zhong, is the great-granddaughter of Taifu. She is also a talented and virtuous woman. Zhong and Hao were concubines of the Tang Dynasty, and they were close to each other. Zhong does not overshadow Hao because of his nobleness, and Hao does not overshadow Zhong because of his humbleness. In the Donghai family, it is Mrs. Hao’s method. In the Jingling family, the ceremony of Mrs. Fan Zhong.
There was a great historian in Wei named Liu Zhuang who was ill. The Duke said, "If the illness worsens, you must inform me even if you are supposed to offer sacrifices." The Duke bowed twice and asked for the corpse, saying, "There is a minister named Liu Zhuang, who is not my minister, but a minister of the state. I heard that he died, so I will go." He went without taking off his mourning clothes, and then wrapped him up. He gave him the name of the Qiu family in the city and the name of the Pan family in the county, and put it in the coffin, saying, "My descendants will be there for generations, and there will be no change."
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
Ten years old is the beginning of decline. Sixty years old cannot be full without meat, seventy years old cannot be warm without silk, eighty years old cannot be warm without people, and ninety years old cannot be warm even if they have people. Fifty years old can be supported by a stick at home, sixty years old can be supported by a stick in the village, seventy years old can be supported by a stick in the country, and eighty years old can be supported by a stick in the court. If the emperor wants to ask about a person at the age of ninety, he should go to his room and accompany him. Seventy years old does not need to wait for the court, eighty years old can report his life every month, and ninety years old has a regular schedule. Fifty years old does not participate in government affairs, sixty years old does not participate in military service, seventy years old does not participate in guests, and eighty years old does not participate in funeral affairs. Fifty years old can be given a title, sixty years old does not participate in school, seventy years old can retire from government affairs; all those above seventy years old can only wear mourning clothes and linen. All three kings provide for the elderly according to their age. A son of an eighty-year-old does not participate in government affairs, and a family of a ninety-year-old does not participate in government affairs; the same applies to the blind. When parents are alive, a son does not sit even if he is old. The Youyu clan provided for the state elders in Shangxiang and provided for the common people elders in Xiaxiang; the Xiahou clan provided for the state elders in Dongxu and provided for the common people elders in Xixu; the Yin people provided for the state elders in Youxue and provided for the common people elders in Zuoxue; the Zhou people provided for the state elders in Dongjiao and provided for the common people elders in Yuxue, which was located in the western suburbs of the state. The Youyu clan provided for the elderly in the imperial palace and wore deep clothes; the Xiahou clan provided for the elderly in the imperial palace and wore Yan clothes; the Yin people provided for the elderly in the imperial palace and wore white clothes; the Zhou people provided for the elderly in the imperial palace and wore black clothes.
When Chen Yuanfang lost his father, he cried and mourned until his body became emaciated. His mother felt sorry for him and secretly covered him with a brocade quilt. Guo Linzong came to express his condolences and saw him, and said to him, "You are a talented person in the country, and a role model for the whole country. How can you mourn with a brocade quilt covering you? Confucius said, 'To wear brocade and to eat rice, what good will it do you?' I will not accept it!" He threw away his clothes and left. From then on, no guests came for a hundred days.
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