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When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
When consulting an elder, one must hold a stick and follow his lead. It is impolite to answer an elder's question without declining.
According to the etiquette of eating, the meat is placed on the left and the stew is placed on the right, the food is placed on the left and the soup is placed on the right. Outside the roasted part, inside the vinegar and sauce part, at the end of the scallion part, and on the right of the wine part. For those who use preserved meat, the left side is the top and the right side is the end. If the guest descends to a lower level and holds the food to say goodbye, the host will say goodbye to the guest, and then the guest will sit down. The host invites the guests to offer a sacrifice: the sacrificial food and the sacrificial objects are presented first. Confusion of order, and offering sacrifices to all. At the third meal, the host invites the guests to eat the meat, and then they debate. If the host does not argue, the guest will not speak in vain.
When Zhou Jun was the governor of Andong, he went hunting and encountered a rainstorm, so he passed by Li's family in Runan. The Li family is wealthy, but the man is not around. There was a girl named Luoxiu. Upon hearing that there was a distinguished person outside, she and a maidservant slaughtered pigs and sheep inside and prepared food for dozens of people. They did everything very carefully and no sound of anyone was heard. He secretly observed her and saw a girl with an extraordinary appearance, so Jun asked her to be his concubine. My father and brother don’t allow it. Luoxiu said: "Our family is ruined, why should we cherish a daughter? If she marries into a noble family, it may be of great benefit in the future." Her father and brother agreed. Then the brothers Bo Ren were born. Luo Xiu said to Bo Ren and others: "The reason why I humble myself and serve as a concubine in your family is for the sake of our family. If you don't become a close relative of my family, I will not cherish the rest of my life." Bo Ren and others obeyed her orders. As a result, Li was able to enjoy a good fortune during his lifetime.
Huan's chariot was in Jingzhou, and Zhang Xuan was the attendant. They were sent to Jiangling. On the way, they passed by Yangqi village. Suddenly, they saw a man holding half a small basket of raw fish. He came directly to build a boat and said, "I have fish. I want to send them to make sashimi." Zhang then moored the boat and took the fish in. When asked his surname, he said he was Liu Yimin. When Zhang Su heard his name, he treated him with great pleasure. When Liu knew that Zhang had received the order, he asked, "Are Xie An and Wang Wendu both good?" Zhang wanted to talk very much, but Liu had no intention of stopping. After the sliced fish was served, he left and said, "I caught this fish just now, and I saw that there should be sliced fish dishes on your boat, so I came here." Then he left. Zhang then chased to Liu's house and set up a banquet for him, but he was not clear about the purpose. Zhang Gao was a man who had no choice but to drink it. As they were drinking together, Liu stood up first and said, "We are now cutting reeds and should not stay for long." Zhang had no way to keep him.
When a person dies, the body is moved to the bed, the quilt is used to cover the body, and the death clothes are removed. The junior officials use a horn scoop to wed the teeth and a swallow table to sew the feet. The king, the senior official, and the scholar are the same.
Liu Ling was always indulging in drinking and being unrestrained. Sometimes he would take off his clothes and walk naked in the house, and people would laugh at him. Ling said: "I use the heaven and earth as my building, and my house as my clothes. Why do you want to enter my army?"
Confucius shot in the garden of the prime minister, and the spectators were like a wall. When shooting reached Sima, he asked Zilu to hold the bow and arrow, and went out to shoot and said: "The generals of the Ben army, the great officials who lost the country, and those who were behind others will not enter, and the rest will enter." Half of them left and half entered. He also ordered Gongwangzhiqiu and Xudian to hold up a cup and speak. Gongwangzhiqiu held up a cup and spoke, saying: "Those who are filial and respectful to their brothers when young and strong, and who are courteous and polite when old and old, who do not follow the trend and cultivate themselves to wait for death, are not in this position." Half of them left, and half stayed. Xudian held up a cup again and spoke, saying: "Those who are eager to learn, who are unchanging in their love of etiquette, and who praise the way without disorder during the period of the flag period, are not in this position." Only those who survived.
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