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Yuan Hu was poor when he was young and once worked as a servant carrying rent for others. Xie Zhenxi was traveling by boat. That night the wind was clear and the moon was bright. He heard the sound of passengers reciting poems on a boat on the river bank, which was quite sentimental. The five-character verse he recited was something he had never heard before, and he could not stop admiring it. He immediately sent someone to interrogate him in detail, and it turned out that it was Yuan himself who was reciting the historical poem he had written. Therefore, they wanted each other and were greatly appreciated.
The son of a good blacksmith must learn to make fur coats; the son of a good archer must learn to make winnowing baskets; the beginner must do the opposite, with the chariot in front of the horse. A gentleman who observes these three things can be determined to study.
The senior officials lower their concubines’ sons, and their grandchildren do not lower their fathers. Senior officials do not preside over the mourning of scholars. There is no mourning for the parents of the loving mother. If the husband is the descendant, his wife is the great merit of the uncle and aunt. If the scholar is buried with the senior officials, the sacrifice is changed. If the stepfather does not live with him, he must live with him once. There is no master descendant. Sharing wealth and offering sacrifices to the ancestors is considered living together; if there is a master descendant, it is considered living separately. Those who mourn for their friends should face south to the right outside the door. Those who are buried with their parents do not use divination to predict their house. Scholars and officials cannot be buried with princes. They can be buried with their grandfathers. For scholars and officials, their wives are buried with their aunts and grandparents, and their concubines are buried with their grandparents. If they die, the first and second sons can be buried with them. They must be buried according to the order of the ancestors. Princes cannot be buried with the emperor. The emperor, princes, and officials can be buried with scholars.
When Xiao Yu was in Jingzhou, the Duke held a large meeting and asked his officials, "How would I like to be like Emperor Gaozu of Han or Emperor Wu of Wei?" No one answered. The Chief Secretary Jiang Fei said, "I would like you to be like Emperor Huan and Emperor Wen, but not like Emperor Gaozu of Han or Emperor Wu of Wei."
Sun Sheng was a military officer in the record room of Yu Gong. He went hunting and took his two sons with him. Yu Gong didn't know this, and suddenly he saw Qi Zhuang in the hunting ground. He was about seven or eight years old. Yu said, "Are you coming again?" He answered immediately, "As the saying goes, 'No matter how small or big, I will follow you.'"
Ruan Ji's sister-in-law once came back home, and Ji saw her and said goodbye to her. Or ridicule it. Ji said, "Is the etiquette designed for people like us?"
Xiahou Taichu and Chen Benshan of Guangling. Ben and Xuan were feasting in front of Ben's mother. Ben's younger brother Qian came back and went straight in and reached the door of the hall. Taichu then stood up and said, "We can achieve unity, but we cannot mix them."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
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