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Men and women have different heights. When a man is twenty, he is crowned and given a name. In front of the father, it is the son's name; in front of the king, it is the minister's name. When a girl is betrothed, she is given a name after she reaches the age of marriage.
When Yin Zhongkan was the governor of Jingzhou, there was a flood season and he usually ate only five bowls of food, with no other dishes. When rice grains fell on the plate or table, he would pick them up and eat them. Although we want to lead things, we must do so according to their true nature. I always tell my children, "Don't think that I am giving up my former ambitions because I have been appointed to a provincial post. It is not easy for me to be in this position now. Poverty is the norm for scholars. How can I climb the branch and abandon my roots? You should save it!"
Guo Jingchun crossed the river and lived in Jiyang. His tomb was less than a hundred steps away from the water, so people at that time thought it was close to the water. Jing Chun said: "It will become land in the future." Now the sand has risen, and the land dozens of miles away from the tomb is all mulberry fields. His poem goes like this: "The northern hill is fierce, the vast ocean is turbulent; the three tombs are piled up, only the mother and the Kun."8 Prime Minister Wang ordered Guo Pu to try to make a hexagram. When the hexagram was completed, Guo looked very unhappy and said, "You will have a disaster!" The king asked, "Is there a way to avoid it?" Guo said, "I will order my carriage to go west for a few miles and find a cypress tree. I will cut it into a piece as long as you, and place it on your bed as a regular place to sleep. Then the disaster will be avoided." The king followed his advice. Within a few days, the fruit was crushed to pieces, and the children and young men all celebrated. The general said, "You are again putting the blame on the trees."
Wang Changshi was the Secretary of the Central Secretariat, and he went to Jinghe and Xu. At that time, it was snowing heavily. The Chief Secretary got off the car from outside the door, walked into the Shangshu room, and put on official uniform. Jinghe looked at him from a distance and sighed, "This person is no longer like the people in this world!"
Yu (Ma Fei) of Kuaiji was a knight-errant like Huan Xuanwu during the reign of Emperor Yuan. He was a man of talent and reason who was highly regarded. Prime Minister Wang once said to (Ma Fei): "Kong Yu has the talent but not the reputation, Ding Tan has the reputation but not the talent. Who can have both?" (Ma Fei) died before he could achieve his goal.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Zhang Hua saw Chu Tao, he said to Lu Pingyuan: "Your brothers are like dragons leaping through the clouds, and Gu Yanxian is like a phoenix singing in the morning sun. I thought the treasures of the southeast were gone, but I didn't expect to see Chu Sheng again." Lu said: "You have never seen anyone who doesn't sing or leap!"
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